I’m a WGA Member on Strike Using LinkedIn for the First Time
Every non-union job listing, for companies like BoatSwatch, Amalgamated Hunter, and A.I. Wurxs.
Tag: Satire
As a “Short King” Please Understand I Am Duty Bound to the Magna Carta
Con: Quite frequently we will have leave during movie night to oversee the search for knights and an exorcist.
The Letter D Wishes You’d Stop Calling the Alphabet “The ABCs”
“The ABCs” isn’t even a good name. I don’t really see the draw.
I Don’t Use Facebook Anymore, I’m Just Insufferable in Every Other Way
Since I’m no longer fixated on my news feed when we go out, I’ve started taking our six rescue dogs with me to the local coffee shop.
To the Person Who Gave My Toddler a Noisy Toy for Her Birthday
Thanks to you and the Magical Musical Mat™, every minute of my life is now a beeping, squawking, nonstop honking nightmare.
Mrs. Benjamin Franklin’s Daily Routine
Attempt to wash as baby breakfasts upon me and Mr. Franklin inquires as to where I’ve hidden his double spectacles; point to spectacles on Mr. Franklin’s face.
FAQs for Contestants on Netflix’s New Reality Dating Show, “Justice Is Blind,” Hosted by Clarence Thomas
Justice Is Blind follows Clarence Thomas in his delightfully romantic quest to find his new Billionaire Best Friend Forever.
Aliens Exist… and They’re Freaking Babes
Atheists say there are no higher powers, but the first time you see a Neptoid’s sponges you’ll realize atheists don’t know shit.
My Day as an Intern, as Imagined by My Exceedingly Optimistic Parents
12:30 PM, reads the Faberge Egg clock the CFO gifted me for having such a good PSAT score.
Mom, Can You Come Pick Me Up? The Guys Registered Another Offshore Financial Subsidiary in My Name
I nodded off for like two seconds and woke up to fresh ink stains on my fingers, and a notary public closing his briefcase and heading out the door.
NBA Scouting Reports of Famous Historical Figures
Jesus Christ brings a robust following as well as the ability to do some pretty amazing things off the court.
EA Sports Announces New, Relatable Slate of Games
Company Softball Team 5000: Play as Herb from Accounting, who has a bad back and will inevitably have to sit out most of the innings.