Top 10 Reasons I Still Need a Cowboy to Take Me Away in 2024
Milk is fucking expensive. Let the cows bring me both my free dairy and the ability to skip the long Sunday checkout lines at the local Target.
Tag: Satire
Save Money on Your Next Ride with Uber’s Bargain Bin!
Shaniqua is a life coach. When she asks, “What’s your destination?” she doesn’t mean on this trip; she’s talking about your life’s journey.
A Referance Lettr 4 my Firrst Grayde Teecher 4 Ur Aplebeeez Summr Brake Serving Job
Her name is Miss S and she would be sucha goood servr cuz she is soo good at teeching me about all kind of stuff.
How to Tell If It’s Another Boring Day at the Office or If You’re Secretly Being Filmed for a Reality TV Prank Show
Don’t end up on a hilarious, reality prank show like "Milk or Sumo!"
The Live Theatre Experience: Etiquette and Survival Tips
This is also a good time to unwrap any candies or cough drops for which you anticipate a need and to pre-chew noisy crackers.
A Viking’s Travel Guide for Your Next Voyage to Vancouver
For all you foodies out there, you should know that very few alehouses carry meade, let alone fresh horsemeat.
Are You a Werewolf, Or Did You Eat Too Much Cheese Last Night?
You manage to get upright. The movement unsettles something inside of you. You groan, but do not recognize the sound.
Soliloquy from the Chair at the Bottom of the Stack
Look at me! Perfectly shaped for ass! And yet the ass does not want me.
An Open Letter to the Man Who’s Liked Me on Hinge Five Times
My profile specifically states I'm looking for "the Jim to my Pam," meanwhile you're still "figuring out your relationship type."
Your Local Weed Guy Has Been Acquired by MegaTech
It’s still me, the same old Gary, but now I’m backed by a mega-cap corporate behemoth. You can just call me Gary Delivery Brought to You by MegaTech.
I’m Alexander the Great’s Brother and This Reunion Sucks
No Alex was a few years behind us. I’m Allen. See my nametag? Alex is probably off expanding the limits of the Western world or something, the madman.
Introducing Claritin-UB: The Only Allergy Medication for Used Bookstores
The haunted attic-tested formula will have you back to browsing through buttermilk-colored paperbacks in as few as 30 minutes.