The Last Beacon of Basketball Purity: Middle School Asthmatic Boys
They don't even have numbers on their uniforms. They just have plain, ill-fitting husky tees donated by the Knights of Columbus.
Tag: Satire
I Don’t Care What Father Mike Says, the Real Stars of Fox’s Hit New Competitive Baptism Show Are the Lifeguards
I know Father Mike and his massive ego won’t like me saying this. The self-proclaimed “superstar” of the baptism world loves the spotlight.
A Descent into Insanity, As Told Through Covid Test Swag Stickers
Day 8: Another test, and another sticker. This one has a pile of crimson and golden autumn leaves with the “We’re in this together!” slogan.
Answers to Your Potato Safety Questions
Q. Can I safely bring an unpeeled potato into a sporting event? A. Security will likely be using metal & potato detectors. It will be confiscated.
The Unexpected Things That Will Happen When You Buy Those Used Bagpipes on Facebook Marketplace
You'll mistakenly think the reeds are developing some exotic flavor. Nope --It's mold. Another thing you neglected, like your "check engine" light.
Welcome to the Ultimate Fighting Championship—But First, a Word from Our Sponsor, Toyo Tires
Champs count on the only tire to receive MMA Magazine’s “Most Ultimate Tire” one year in a row.
The Rules I Must Never Break in Order to Keep My Job Wringing the Oil Out of Tom Cruise’s Hair While He Calls Me a Neanderthal
When Mr. Cruise shouts his most favored insult at me, I must be grateful and verbally show him my appreciation with a delighted squeal.
You Need to Know about These Five Cognitive Biases (Sponsored by Bayer, the New Owner of Roundup)
At Bayer, we have a duty to pretend we have a duty to have a positive impact on the world.
“Jessie’s Girl” Made You a Guide on How to Find a Woman Like Her
You Remind Me of Jessie’s Girl! Please, Do Tell Me, Do You Have a Name? – While just a tad bit rude, this is also respectful enough to answer!
I Am the Reply All Button and God Am I Sexy
Yes!! Tell the whole department how unintuitive you find the system. Oh YES it’s been so hard for you to find your files since the software update.
Best Man Speech for the Worst Couple
Seeing you both now, I think we will sue. Sorry—I think we will. SUE, and Noah, you are clearly blessed.
Censorship Is Preventing Me from Publishing My Novel “Rat Sex in Outer Space”
Brave ideas drowned in a sea of silence. That’s a direct quote from "Rat Sex in Outer Space" and it applies here.