Welcome to the Stages of Grief Expansion Pack!
Podcasting: In your 2 AM hunt for distraction, you stumble on a fun fact. Did you know that platypuses are blue and green under ultraviolet light?
Tag: Pain
I’d Like to Be Considered for the Role of James Bond
Instead of a 007 who is handsome, smooth, and combat-trained, what if we went with a 40-year-old guy who is allergic to bees.
We Have Reached the Summit of Our 6-Mile Hike and Behold: Trees!
On this side, perhaps a breathtaking view of a rugged mountain range soaring up majestically in the distance? Nope, just trees.
Things That I, a Millennial Born in the ’90s, Would Rather Do than Make a Phone Call
- Repeat grades six and seven, objectively my most awkward years - Untangle holiday lights - Menstruate for an entire month
As Your Primary Care Doctor, I Will Be Happy to See You in Three Weeks When Your Symptoms Have Passed
It’s true that in every other context “primary” means first in order. But words and their ordinary meanings can be misleading.
So Who’s the Real Monster in All This?
Who is the real monster here? The tentacled creature lurking in the vapor outside… or were you all the real monster this whole time?
It’s Me, Rudolph, and I’d Love to Stop Reliving My Childhood Trauma Every Christmas
They say time heals all wounds, but that’s only for people who aren’t known by a nickname based on their biggest insecurity.
So No One Else at Game Night Gives a Fuck About Winning?
How about we all start acting like adults and take this seriously? Does your heart not beat for your nation (green)?
The Superhero Known as The Vegan Fends Off Home Invaders
“Vegan! Give us ze classified recipes and ve vill let you live!” The Vegan’s former best friend-turned-nemesis, General Draganov, shouts.
Choosing Your Tinnitus Ringtone
Choose a ringtone that’s right for you, your lifestyle, and your tolerance for the incessant cacophony of crickets inside your head jar.
Mosquitoes Review Me
Great ambiance—enough body hair to afford some privacy but not so much that it gets in the way of your meal.
The Yard Work Will Have to Wait Until I Recover from This Nasty Case of Havana Syndrome
I think I can muster up just enough strength to go put the gardening tools away but that’s about it. Just give me a second while I try to stand up.