Office | Page 17 | Points in Case

Tag: Office

The Emperor’s New Groove: Was the world clamoring for a remake of this 2000 sort-of hit that was almost universally praised as “fine?”

Dear Stable Genius, do reach out to this Nancy. A handwritten note of apology on stationery is a lovely gesture that will surely smooth things over.

Steal an intern’s idea and get a promotion for it? Buy them a piece of jewelry. The “hang loose” attitude of the puka shell never goes out of style.

You can’t read half the ingredients and might be suffocating a baby penguin with excess sodium monofluorophosphate, but at least you’re minty fresh.

Quitticisim (kwit-??siz?m): The paralyzing decision to either delete or refresh Twitter every thirty seconds.

Let me wipe off the shaving cream and stow my kit bag where the emergency phone used to be.

It's not that I’m afraid of commitment—I just don’t want to start something that’s not right for me.

“We’re number one!” I cheer. The team wheels around. “No,” they respond. “YOU’RE number one.” Then they offer to pay off all of my debt.

Delete all the photos on your social media that indicate you ever had a life before children. Replace them with a solid wall of photos of your kids.

Rose* (Human Resources Officer, 1999-Present): He walked into this office on his very first day with that Hot Pocket.

Oh cool...he’s lurking that model’s Instagram again. You do know I can summon the full works of Shakespeare, right?

Have any special skills? Call those “in your wheelhouse”--it shows you love baseball but are also serious. Don't have special skills? Doesn’t matter.