Sure, My Parents May Be the King and Queen of a Small Country, But I’m Not the Least Bit Privileged
People tell me I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but that’s not true at all. It was bronze.
Tag: Money
Welcome to Your Life as My Child!
Welcome to your life! You’ve been lucky enough to draw the sought after white, middle-class, dual-working parent scenario.
Millennial Prenup Agreement
Reusable cloth bags to be split draft style. First pick for the one really good cloth bag goes to cuckolded party, otherwise coin flip.
Groupon Deals Tailored to Your Emotional Breakdown
Spend a luxurious evening in a gorgeous Four Seasons suite with an ex lover of your choosing. You passed right through denial and into anger.
No, Our Restaurant Was Not “Shut Down,” We Are Simply Pivoting
Our organic farm-to-table eatery is now also BYOM (Bring Your Own Meals). That’s right. You bring the food, we bring the vibes.
The Lava Claim
He repeated it while scribbling notes, carefully making sure he’d heard me correctly. “So you get home. The floor is lava. You take a shower?”
Mastercard Bipolar Interactive Phone Network: Beta Version
Press 10 to talk to a Customer Service Representative. This is never going to happen, of course, but we all have dreams.
10 Failed Attempts by Johnson & Johnson to Rebrand Its Baby Shampoo Post-Opioid Trial
Your child will no longer feel any pain. In their eyes, when this hits their eyes, we mean. We make no claims on any other pain.
I’m Sorry I’m Only an Attempted Murderer
Your family has a long legacy of murderers, and you hoped to marry one yourself. You envisioned a picture-perfect life as a convicted murderer’s wife.
14 Steps to Enter My Instagram Giveaway
I'm giving away the chance to enter a drawing for a trip for one to one of the most romantic destinations in the world: Calgary!
Chef Boyardee’s Last Hurrah
I present to you The Chef Boyardee Fuckayous, a meal that speaks for many immigrants (like myself) who are being deported from the United States.
Let’s Discuss the Global Hunger Epidemic Over by Our Company’s Free Snack Drawer
Did you know that there's a hunger epidemic going on? And more importantly, did you know that the office switched to ordering from Fresh Direct?