Is He Cheating On You, a Serial Killer, or Just an Avid Birder?
- He’s been trying out different mating calls. - You’ve caught him googling “Brown Booby,” “Great Tit,” and “Cock-of-the-Rock.”
Tag: Lists
Biblical Figures Stub Their Toe
Cain: Cain is in pain! Abel: I'm un-Abel to walk comfortably!
20 Tips for Reading While Dining Out That Are Easier than Buying a $2 Pair of Reading Glasses
- Ask what the specials are, then ask what all the regular items are. - Memorize the entire menu instead.
A List of People Who Are Dead to Me So Far (In Chronological Order)
Dorothy Hamill, for inspiring the bowl cut my mom gave me from ages 6-12.
Congressional Valentines Sure to Break Through the Divisiveness
- Let’s form our own special select committee - Please be my Majority Whip - We should move forward with a discharge petition
Tax Form or Droid from Star Wars?
1099-K, BB-8, WA-7, W-9?
Town in Massachusetts or Archaic Insult?
Peabody, Maynard, Wantwit, Athol, Muckspout: fastest route to Muckspout or scathing flurry of insults?
Are You My Future Boyfriend or a Personal Injury Lawyer?
You’re willing to fight for what I deserve. You categorically accept my claim that, “This is not entirely my fault.”
Writers, Please Avoid Using the Following Forbidden Literary Devices
Gallegory: Everything in a story represents something else, but only for the ladies. Men still have to read it literally.
20 New Year’s Resolutions to Try While You Wait for the Adderall Shortage to End
Add More Variety to Your Diet: You’ve either forgotten to eat or had eight meals today. Both count.
Answers to All of the Questions Asked by the Little Girl Sitting Behind Me at Last Night’s Performance of “The Marriage of Figaro”
OK—technically you didn’t ask this, but no, you’re not supposed to sing along.
“Kiss Me, I’m Irish” T-Shirts for Those with Partial Ancestry
Go on two dates with me that seem to go well, but then inexplicably ghost me, I’m half Irish