• You weren’t ready to start the book yet and you know it.
  • Moment of silence but for a page.
  • Total accident and someone is definitely getting fired.
  • This is Random House Publishing and the book starts when we say so!
  • Forward was written by a celebrity that we should have researched more beforehand.
  • George R.R. Martin is still writing it.
  • We. Hate. Trees.
  • We dedicated this to someone but they said they weren’t interested. Whatever. It's not like the whole book is about them.
  • Write your name and room number here just in case you lose the book when you fall asleep at the beach resort because no one reads at the beach and then someone will return it to the reception and you’ll spark a sexy secret summer romance with this mysterious, kind, possibly literate individual. Or get murdered and have an HBO series written about you. Have some fun.
  • This is a real book and real books have blank pages unlike Kindles. Oh, Kindles have blank pages too? WOW, OK.
  • Marie Kondo famously said, “Discard anything that doesn't spark joy.” We interpreted this as reading.
  • Words did not meet Florida curriculum.
  • Better the first page than the last page, no?
  • This is a journal. Let's manifest.