I’ve got everything lined up so this grilling experience won’t be sullied by past mistakes. Remember the infamous Frankless Fourth of July?
Smiling or otherwise expressive mouse head-shaped pancakes are trademarked.
Darkness provides ambiance. Your food will look mysterious. Changing burned-out lightbulbs is a chore we just don’t want to do.
On Wednesday he ate through his employee's 401ks, but he was still hungry.
What chance did this damaged little runt have against such a glittering squadron of unblemished beauties?
New reservations are released four times a year at 2:01 AM on the Winter Solstice, the Summer Solstice, the Spring Equinox, and Armistice Day.
Multiple trips? No way. I’m not leaving anything to take in “next.” There is no “next.” There is only “bringing everything inside at once."
- Ask what the specials are, then ask what all the regular items are. - Memorize the entire menu instead.
If you woke up and your partner was an Oscar Mayer wiener, how long could your grief stop you from eating them?
Now the haters are gonna eat their words like a saturated fat-soaked afterschool snack.
I decide not to say “please” or “thank you” and I’m immediately pummeled to death by a diner waitress.
Pancakes?! Why not mashed potatoes? Who makes pancakes for dinner, especially Thanksgiving dinner?