New reservations are released four times a year at 2:01 AM on the Winter Solstice, the Summer Solstice, the Spring Equinox, and Armistice Day.
Multiple trips? No way. I’m not leaving anything to take in “next.” There is no “next.” There is only “bringing everything inside at once."
- Ask what the specials are, then ask what all the regular items are. - Memorize the entire menu instead.
If you woke up and your partner was an Oscar Mayer wiener, how long could your grief stop you from eating them?
Now the haters are gonna eat their words like a saturated fat-soaked afterschool snack.
I decide not to say “please” or “thank you” and I’m immediately pummeled to death by a diner waitress.
Pancakes?! Why not mashed potatoes? Who makes pancakes for dinner, especially Thanksgiving dinner?
I’ve given up hope when I see the cabinet door swing open, and your big, dumb hand comes lurching toward me.
I also thought this was a temp gig until the pandemic was over. Or, well, over enough now, I guess?
Emeton's Loose Nuts are meatier, more sensuous, more lissome, bustier, than those ordinary strait-laced nuts.
You’re here to risk it all on totally digital experiences without a shred of realistic worth, and I’m talking about shrimp.
- A nine-year-old who will be upset later that there’s no gravy for his potato volcano