Thinkpiece: Baby Name, or Warby Parker Glasses?
Wilcox - Say hello to Wilcox! Your newest member of the household comes in Smoky Bourbon or Teal.
Tag: Confusion
Is My Dog Spanky a Good Boy, or a Foot Soldier for the Patriarchy?
He gets excited when I feed him, but seems lukewarm when I reach important academic milestones or make advancements in my career.
5 Ways to Answer the Question, “But Where Are You Really From?”
Humorous: Suggest, as a possible place of origin, "Yo momma’s ass." Smile to indicate that you are "just kidding."
It Has Come to My Attention that People Think My Small Business, “Randy’s Adult Superstore,” Is a Porn Shop
We're clearly marked, "Randy's Adult Superstore"! A normal store for normal, non-sex crazed adults. What’s the issue here?
Emails from Jesus’s Micromanaging Boss, Phil
Just touching base with you on this month’s miracles. As you know, miracles are one of our key performance indicators this quarter.
A Plea to Raise the Millennial Stay Ceiling
It appears you believe I am actually leaving in a few days. This is not accurate. These ceiling deals are always a bit of a work in progress.
Is Your Nest Malfunctioning or is Your Brentwood Mansion Haunted?
Do your thoroughbred Tibetan Mastiffs refuse to walk past your Nest Detect Sensor™ into the the conservatory where your stepfather passed away?
Open Up and Say “Ariana Grande”
He then directed me to look at the 2019 Coachella poster. “It’s the perfect tool for measuring your Cool levels. It works just like an eye chart.”
How to Break In Your New Hiking Boots
Explain that "Interpretive Trail Hiking" won’t have a steady paycheck and encourage your boots to instead major in "Pre-Backpacking" at Bootiversity.
Introducing the Apple Car
That hood and the entire car frame is made out of Gorilla Glass, the material you smudge every day and crack every other week on your iPhone screen.
Rejected “Dark Phoenix” Poster Concepts by Someone Who Clearly Never Saw the Movie
Executive Producer: I don’t quite understand. What exactly is the “lone phoenix”? Are you talking about Sophie Turner’s character? Marketer: Hm?
Are Vaccines Safe? And Other Legitimate Medical Questions From Ordinary People
When I give blood, does the needle the doctors use make a hole in my arm that a ghost could get into?