Sorry Cowards, But Normal Vases Are Cancelled
If I see an unattended Mason jar, you’re goddamn right that I’m filling it with marbles, lemon slices, and a few artistically disheveled wheat stems.
Tag: Arts
West 56th Street Daycare & Nursery School: Admissions Intro and Course Catalog
So long as your child has no criminal convictions and a clean employment record, he should have no trouble obtaining the ranking of “Top Secret.”
Don’t Get Mad, Get “Even Stevens” on Blu-Ray
A timeless piece of television, "Even Stevens" demonstrates the trials and tribulations of being “imperfect” in a seemingly perfect world.
A Word from the Guy Who Shouted “Woo!” during the Guitar Solo of Eric Clapton’s “Layla” Unplugged
Most of the rubes don’t figure out it’s a cover until the vocals come in, at which point everyone cheers like an idiot and I let out a huge scoff.
12 Tips for Integrating Invasive Species into Your Great Lakes Destination Wedding
Consider adding custom lace and sequins suggestive of gills and scales. Guests will soon forget the piles of rotting fish heaped on the shoreline.
Welcome to Your Life as My Child!
Welcome to your life! You’ve been lucky enough to draw the sought after white, middle-class, dual-working parent scenario.
An Oral History of Todd’s Hot Pocket Disaster of 2018
Rose* (Human Resources Officer, 1999-Present): He walked into this office on his very first day with that Hot Pocket.
Remember, Oh Co-Eds, the College Campus Landscapers
They were the ones tasked with Edward Scissorhanding the bushes on the hill that greeted you.
Suggested Reading for Your Not-Woke-Enough 6-Year-Old
The Little Engine That Lost Its Medicare - After losing a spoke while transporting cargo, The Little Engine is no longer able to afford repairs.
The 10 Best Humor Websites You’ve Never Heard Of
The Naughty Muffin - Risqué humor focused on baked goods. Sample posts: "Oh my, you ARE all buttery today, aren’t you?"
As an Old and Bitter Movie Critic, I’m Finding Third-Act Problems in My Own Life
My life—the sophomore outing by parents William and Eloise Cunningham—begins confidently enough in suburban Nebraska.
Manifesto of the Streamable Content Commune
The Streamable Content Commune is a community dedicated to subverting this oppressive system by bringing together people who share values & passwords.