The Simple and Effective No Cookies or Wine Diet
The only exception to the wine rule is for post-work networking drinks. You don’t want to make the other person feel bad about drinking wine!
The only exception to the wine rule is for post-work networking drinks. You don’t want to make the other person feel bad about drinking wine!
No-Homojito - Muddle the fuck out of some sugar, a mint sprig, and a gay lime. Add light rum as a top and dark rum as a bottom.
For a fun coordinated touch, make sure that you’ve got a few hollowed-out pumpkins for your guests to vomit into if they indulge in too many.
Heat almond milk to a tepid temperature. Look around your little get together and remind guests that it is 9:01 PM on Saturday and it’s getting late.
Admire rich white men who are landowners. / Cook porridge and flummery. / Exhort a vagabond to repentance.
Surely you can tell by the creases under my eyes and the lingering scent of nitroglycerin that I’ve had a rough one.
They were the ones tasked with Edward Scissorhanding the bushes on the hill that greeted you.
My life—the sophomore outing by parents William and Eloise Cunningham—begins confidently enough in suburban Nebraska.
There isn't a law on the books or rule of decorum that will get us to budge. Civilization has no hold over us this deep in the crowd.
Waking up this morning without a hangover was a total bummer, and I fully regret making a conscious decision to do so.
If you hear a man joke, “I’m a real feminist because I would never tell a woman to smile; I yell at them to frown,” then you’ve found the right crowd.
I still remember that first taste, the delicious mouth-feel of the words, the surprising burn as they went down.