I Fixed My Relationship by Registering My Boyfriend as an Emotional Support Animal
Brandon must now provide me with affection and companionship under penalty of Federal prosecution.
Tag: Stress
Various Life Crises You Will Undergo
Quarter of a Quarter Life Crisis: Age 6. You will cope by throwing tantrums before bedtime and refusing to share your trucks with Jeremy.
How to Absolutely and Utterly Bomb at an Open Mic
If you hear a man joke, “I’m a real feminist because I would never tell a woman to smile; I yell at them to frown,” then you’ve found the right crowd.
A Year of No
A friend finds an aggressive dog hiding under a car. She asks if we will take him in temporarily. I know I need to swallow my fear, so I say yes.
We Are the Feet in the Photo Accompanying Every Humor Piece Ever Written About Sex
There we are, four feet peeking out, intimating that our other body parts are currently engaged in some very exciting and hidden sexual activity.
Dear Hiker Who Was Totally Pulling Off a Neckerchief
Do neckerchiefs not itch against your perfect scruff? Who decides that your face fur should stay at a golden quarter inch?
List: The Summer Spotify Playlist Your Therapist Made for You
"Someone New" by Hozier - Listen, I KNOW we put your love life on hold for the last three appointments but think of it as a fun little game.
I’m the Founder of “Word of the Day” Calendar and I Feel Vexation and Chagrin
Even with the annual surge in profits from last-minute gifting for Mother’s and Father’s Days, this year has left us bereft and impecunious.
List: The Grievances of Punxsutawney Phil
The way I'm held when I'm hoisted in the air sort of digs into my ribs. I'd be interested in exploring some other hoisting techniques.
List: Things Your Teen Daughter Asks You at 11:17 PM, When You’re in Bed Watching “House Hunters”
Oh my god, I literally have nothing to put on my college applications. Why did you let me quit cross country?