Why Isn’t That Thing I’ve Been Putting Off Doing Already Done?
Can’t you see how clean my oven is? How filed my taxes are? How very walked my dog is? And yet, the thing is still not done.
Can’t you see how clean my oven is? How filed my taxes are? How very walked my dog is? And yet, the thing is still not done.
As my dearest mother used to say: "You can tell a lot about an apartment by their lobby’s bathroom."
And if you find any let me know. Maybe write down anything you do find and make a note of where it was. Try to be thorough though.
Don’t worry about the old-timer who whispers “Beware the woods at night!” to you—it’s just his way of welcoming you!
Google “What does sexually active mean?” Is it like you’re having sex right at that moment? In the past year? Ever?
Resist the urge to open your eyes and do a quick scan of the room, evaluating people’s yoga wear.
“Everything must come to an end.” Did I just tell you I’m dying, or that I finished The Legend of Zelda?
Millennials and Gen Z don’t understand how valuable a sense of camaraderie is, or how important mistress time is.
Time off task (12 minutes): Nerve sensors detected hunger prior to your lunch break. Hunger is personal time.
Better to be in a state of terrified anxiety that your autopilot could end your life at any moment.
I definitely didn't come up with the flavor profile for this roast after I bought Starburst at a Hudson News in the SeaTac Airport.
Now I’m halfway to the table, and this bowl is burning my fucking hands off.