A Step-by-Step Guide to Choosing a Password That Fulfills Every Last Requirement
2. Passwords must contain the word that best describes how you feel about your parents’ 1993 divorce. Your selection: pizza2betrayal
2. Passwords must contain the word that best describes how you feel about your parents’ 1993 divorce. Your selection: pizza2betrayal
NotJeff: This password is great for anyone not named Jeff. Again though, please don’t actually use this password since it is on this list.
Let all your worries, cares, and worldly possessions flow away from your body… and into a rental truck parked outside...
An excerpt from Section 38.28.1 of the Limo Driver's Handbook about how to deal with a bachelorette that turns into a jewel heist.
Be there gold? Nay. Be there jewels? Nay. Be there the 2-3 years of experience required of ye to land an entry-level buccaneering position? Aye.
Try investing some of your funds in a planet that isn’t being pushed to the brink of environmental catastrophe.
I low-balled a museum in Plymouth into selling me wax statues of sick Pilgrims from their “passengers who didn’t survive the Mayflower” exhibit.
Your years of unemployment in your home country put you at a distinct disadvantage. And we can find no official immigrant category of “prince.”
The internet is one big lie. If you think someone’s telling the truth online, then you’re lying to yourself.
If you SEE something delicious, SAY “that looks yummy!” If you SEE something nutritious, SAY “I think I’ll go back to the yummy thing from earlier.”
Despite being “Employee of the Month” at the Chili’s I work at, this pales in comparison to the abysmal feeling of not being a billionaire.
Wrap yourself from the neck down in Saran Wrap, and then ask a friend to spray lukewarm water between you and the plastic with a garden hose.