Good. Don’t click the link. Now, a wild badger climbs through the break room window and makes a beeline for your unguarded computer.
Q: I don't seem to be getting any other emails besides the reply-all thread. Can you fix that? A: Great question! Again, sorry, but no.
Our previous policy of zero in-office hawk attacks has been slightly adjusted to a new policy of many hawk attacks.
I myself voraciously advocated for firings to appease investors after guaranteeing that quarterly revenue would increase by “infinity” dollars.
We applaud you for giving us something to do with our hands other than ball them up or masturbate.
Setting up this stand in my backyard all those days ago, I never imagined the places we would go; we are now in the front yard.
Instead of giving your employees bonuses, wouldn't it be better to hire me to list off my Wikipedia page for an hour?
I’m gonna order the Chomperoo 3-in-1 Soother Chewer through the Amazon app real quick and then Jeffrey “watch me burn money as literal rocket fuel” Bezos can take a hike!
Changing what you look like on the outside won’t change how you feel on the inside, but it’s still a ton of fun to adjust your avatar’s clothes.
Here in Human Resources, we are consistently e-applauding each and every one of our hard-working, self-sacrificing rockstars.
"Print out a prepaid shipping label." We’re aware there’s no logical reason for a partly-employed 24-year-old to have a printer.
Pears have all the qualities you love in an apple, but with a fresh, edgy, devil-may-care attitude.