We Regret to Inform You That the Position You Interviewed for Has Been Filled by My Nephew
We were looking for someone who is my sister’s son, invites me to tap recitals, and doesn’t correct me at the Thanksgiving table when I say something racist.
Tag: Corporate
What to Expect at GrainFed Group’s Single Day of Service
Each employee should onboard a child for photos. Be discerning in your selection. Children who look both winsome and unmistakably aligned with our hunger initiative are ideal.
You’re Invited to a Free Work Dinner
After last year’s summer get-together dinner, and the not-so-fun harassment lawsuit with Dave and Buster’s staff, we’ve decided to make this a sober event.
Ashley, Customer Success Coordinator, Will You Be My Work Wife?
Ashley, when I work with you, I feel like I’m on a never-ending Personal Improvement Plan.
A Stress-Free, Worry-Free Carriage Ride
No one from the board of directors or human resources can accuse me of gross negligence while I’m taking a peaceful carriage ride.
I Am the Job Applicant Who Got Hired Over You
I meet all the requirements for the job, most of which are not listed in the job posting.
An Introduction to Cubicles & Corporations: The Tabletop Role-Playing Game Your Dungeons & Dragons Characters Play
How will you endure the ancient ritual of the Office Birthday—standing motionless while colleagues sing at you and maintain eye contact?
Corporate Layoffs Will Now Be Communicated via Raunchy Chain Texts
Forward to 10 coworkers to lay them off for us, or get 9 years bad luck in your job search. 👋🍑
Former Hot Shot Dish Towel Demoted to the Rank of Rag
As a thank you for everything you’ve done for Kitchen, we’d like to offer you the position of Rag.
Thank You for Taking the Survey About Our Survey
We hope you enjoyed your recent dining experience at Big Bill’s Fried Chicken and Margarita Patio
It’s Me, Your CEO, and I Can See Your Slack Messages About My Hair Transplant
I was shocked to see such vitriol aimed at myself and my new hair enhancement—it’s simply not the CloudMindTech way.
I’m Going to Business School to Find Myself
For me, a fresh excel sheet offers endless promise. A blank deck is the root of inspiration.