Economy Hotel Chain Celebrates 100 Days Since Last Homicide With Double Award Points
I want to assure Rewards Members that we are now extending free counseling to all members and not just Gold-Level as with past homicides.
Tag: Coffee
Escape Rooms for Adults
"Senior": You’re over 70 and must get your pills organized in that little plastic box with the SMTWTFS lids.
Dispatches from the Great Thermostat War
We prevailed! We, whose skins are sensitive to the winds that whip through the lobby when goddamn Liam doesn’t shut the door—marched into battle.
As Your Unpaid TSA Worker, I Will Be Confiscating a Lot More Than Your Liquids
I’ll be honest, we’re not going to give you back your shoes.
Bergman’s of Sweden: The Existential Diner
Look in vain for a menu, it is torn and stained with tears. There are no specials, ever, only monotonous offerings of tasteless food.
The Survival Guide for Open Mics
The Musician: This Jason Mraz-wannabe thought this mic was for music, but ended up in a cafe full of comedians and stuck it out for some reason.
Tips to Become a Better Job Hunter and Gatherer
Show your dream company your most impressive work by hanging your greatest taxidermied prize outside their window.
I, The Lovable Prankster of My House, Have Been Asked to Move Out for Some Reason
They just don’t seem to realize that, in a prank-war, these things just happen. It's no one’s fault, and nothing anyone should get in trouble for.
The State Nicknames Convention
D.C.:Nevada, do you know what you’re going to go with? NV: The Silver State! D.C.: California? CA: Ahem: The Golden State. NV: Aw, dick move, man.
Items That the Hip, Gentrifying Café Sells
Non-Metal Recyclable Straws: Metal won't cut it for us because it is prone to rust! So, we have created a straw made from bricks. Can brick rust?