• The grapes of wrath
  • The pomegranates of ire
  • Wicked pissed blueberries
  • The gummi peach rings of mild annoyance
  • Incel durian
  • Bananas that peaked in high school and have spent the rest of their lives dwelling on it, growing old and bitter while the rest of the bunch goes on to greater things like banana splits and daiquiris and fucking people over in Mario Kart
  • Sociopathic lemons
  • Limes that resent their association with lemons but secretly fear that they’re nothing on their own
  • “Economically anxious” strawberries
  • The blackberries of our discontent
  • The raspberries of road rage
  • The honeydew of righteous fury
  • Cantaloupe that claims to be “ethically non-monogamous” but freaks out the moment you look at someone else
  • Antisocial aҫai
  • The cherries that were never really good enough but still insist that they should be on top
  • Figs with no fucks to give
  • Kiwi fruit that’s out for blood
  • Evil dates
  • Nihilistic boysenberries
  • Lecherous nectarines
  • Pineapples that honk their horn behind you literally the moment the light turns green
  • Arrogant kumquats
  • The papayas of toxic masculinity
  • Are tomatoes a fruit? I think so. Well, they’re not happy, let me tell you.
  • Slightly saucy cranberries
  • Disgruntled watermelon
  • Pears that don’t tip their waitstaff
  • Apricots. Apricots are just angry all the time

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