Fundamental Economy Lite

This new class will save you $15 off Basic Economy for only a handful of additional restrictions:

  • During pre-boarding, passengers may not sit at the gate and must instead loiter at the nearest Hudson News outlet.
  • Passengers will board the aircraft alongside gate-checked luggage.
  • Seats are not pre-assigned, so once onboard, passengers must walk up and down the aisle asking, “Is this seat taken?” to find an open seat.
  • All in-flight magazine crosswords and Sudoku puzzles have already been filled out.
  • TV programming is limited to one 6-hour supercut of a goat screaming like a human man.
  • Bathroom access is not permitted.

Prime Steerage

Looking to travel on a shoestring budget? Prime Steerage is $16 cheaper than our Basic Economy fare, and you won't have to sacrifice comfort for savings. Here’s the breakdown:

  • Passengers travel in the cargo hold below the main deck.
  • Standard meal and snack options are not served in the lower deck, but Prime Steerage passengers may purchase any bread roll unopened by Economy passengers for $85.
  • For a modest $200 add-on fee, Prime Steerage passengers may borrow a broken folding chair to sit on, but must stow it for takeoff and landing, and hold on to whatever they can.
  • Earplugs are recommended (not provided) as noise can occasionally be a concern.

Executive BinSpace

For those select small-bodied passengers really looking to cut costs, Executive BinSpace will shave a cool $17 off our Basic Economy fare. Here are the deets:

  • Passengers travel in an unoccupied overhead compartment.
  • Passengers may purchase 2-packs of moist towelettes to insulate their body from sharp corners and sliding luggage for $100.
  • Executive bin dimensions are 26.5 inches by 12 inches—especially suitable for kids!

Platinum RoofRack

For our adventurous customers knee-deep in debilitating debt but needing to fly somewhere literally inaccessible by land, our RoofRack option whittles $18 off our Basic Economy fare (before taxes; after taxes the cost goes up $50). The fine print:

  • Passengers are strapped to a tin-alloy rack attached to the roof of the plane.
  • Passengers may purchase oxygen for an additional fee—credit or debit cards only (no cash), double rewards points for signing up for our airline credit card in-flight.
  • Safety video and in-flight announcements must be listened to via a cup on a string.
  • Carry-on luggage (additional $4,000) must be hugged tightly to the chest.
Join upcoming November classes in Satire Writing, Sketch Writing, and Stand-Up Joke Writing.