– Keep your safety vest on at all times, no exceptions.
– Stay hydrated and wear sunscreen.
– Hold the paddle properly, as per the guide's instruction.
– Be vigilant and wary of your surroundings in the water at all times.
– If your group encounters a group of violent, backwoods mountain people who threaten to harm you for wandering into their encampment, please do not use your guide as a bargaining chip to secure freedom for the group, leaving the guide behind as a prisoner.
– Staff would like to note that while it might be easy to resolve that your guide is just a background character making a brief cameo in your life, please remember that they have a soul. They have dreams. And they definitely do not want to spend the rest of their days as a spouse to the inbred child of Mongo, leader of the mountain people.
– Before you head out onto the water, briefly redirect your attention to this large, printed photo of your guide and their family, just to solidify in your heads that they are somebody's child, sibling, and lover.
– Stay in the boat at all times, even if your instructor is being carried away, begging and screaming, by the mountain people. Please stew in your guilt within the confines of the raft.
– The staff is obligated to state that, as per the White Water Rafting Association's bylines, you should not try to rescue your instructor. As much as it pains us to state, we must: by sacrificing your guide as a prisoner, their fate has ultimately been sealed.
– Staff would also like to note that if the group decides to fight back, you can almost certainly overpower the mountain people; their bones are brittle like glass, and they have no peripheral vision, like race horses.
– Please keep the following in mind: the mountain people people believe that your guide is a gift of the water god, and they try to milk them for gold. When imprisoned, they keep them in a large dirt hole filled with water, the water deep enough that they may not stand, and the hole tall enough that they may not climb out. They believe they are one with the water and this is how they must be kept alive. Act accordingly.
– Be aware that every time your guide returns from the mountain society they are changed. The mountain people take a piece of them, both physically and metaphorically. First it was a few hairs or fingernails, but they've begun to take your guide's teeth and they fear what is next.
– Don’t forget to have fun! But also don't make a decision that results in your group carrying the burden of guilt for a sin that can't be washed away by the ever flowing river of time.