>>> The YouTube Critic
By staff writer Harold Longfellow, Ph.D.
March 18, 2007

This week has been relatively refreshing if only because these videos are intentionally comical, instead of poorly filmed, idiocy. Yes, this week we have actual intentional comedy with scripts and actors (sort of). I think you’ll enjoy. Actually, that was a lie—I don’t even care enough about your opinions to bother having a stray thought about what your opinions might be. Just watch the videos already.

Ah, the documentary. Much to my chagrin, as a genre it has opened up film to any average Joe who wants to be famous by exposing some problem of society. I, for one, think this is ridiculous, and that film should be restricted to those of us with prestigious degrees and years of study. It is not a plebian art, and the advent of the handheld camera was the beginning of the end.

That being said, I necessarily appreciate the mockery this film makes of what has become the most hackneyed part of film culture. Also, if it had been brandy, it would more or less be my biography of late, so four out of four it is.

Rubber chickens: 4 (out of 4)

Movies these days have a tendency to offend—take the debate over Brokeback Mountain, for example. Needless to say, this movie may also offend people with a certain set of religious beliefs. Is this on the same progressive level as Brokeback? I, unfortunately, must say no. Brokeback Mountain brought into the light important political questions that created the controversy which surrounded it. This movie, on the other hand, puts Jesus in a frat house. I find that to be offensive simply in its stupidity, and I believe that even if there is a God, he’s cruel and merciless enough to leave me doing this. Besides, if the best punch line you can come up with is that Jesus’ ultimate sacrifice was having sex with a fat girl, perhaps you should stick to telling jokes to the drunk frat bros.

Rubber chickens: 1.5 (out of 4)

Sweet, sweet irony—so few people understand it, and even less know how to use it. My only hope is that none of you out there will take this seriously and stop reading.

Just kidding! I know you can’t read and you’re only here for the videos. In fact, it doesn’t even matter what I write. Hitler was great. I love apartheid. Prohibition was a great plan. Rap is soon going to become the respectable face of musical art. This writing is ever so fulfilling.

Anyway, I salute these young people if for no other reason than they were kind enough to distract some buffoons from their ridiculous crusades to change the world. Since most of them haven’t learned their lesson, I will lay it out for you and them here. If you aren’t smart enough to get elected into office, you can’t change the world anyway.

As a final note, I think this video could have been improved if the “Billionaires for Bush” sign were being held by actual billionaires who did, in fact, support George W. Bush. That’s irony.

Rubber chickens: 3.5 (out of 4)

This vaguely reminds me of every office job I have ever held. That said, while this is almost respectable for its creativity, it seems as though this is just the result of someone sitting around getting high and listing off the funniest things he can come up with. Unfortunately, this doesn’t quite live up to today’s comedic standards, and tying them all together with an utterly unrelated office scene doesn’t add much either. You boys don’t even get points for effort.

Rubber chickens: 1 (out of 4)

My first problem with this video is that Facebook is dressed in respectable attire. Somehow, were I to picture its personification, I would go with a drunk 20-year-old passed out in a corner in a puddle of his own drool. My second problem is that the only comedy here is a bunch of Jewish jokes that have been used since before I found out that the world is cold and harsh and that talent is destined to be unappreciated. This is actually less creative than the above video—maybe these people should start smoking pot.

Rubber chickens: .5 (out of 4)