>>> Ask Nicole
By staff writer Nicole McKaig
June 16, 2004

Dear Nicole,

My girlfriend is reluctant to engage in anal sex while she has no problem putting a finger in my ass to stimulate my prostate. Is this a double standard and what can I do to convince her that she'd really like it?

-Jack Da Rippa
 

Dear Jack,

You’re nice enough to let her put her finger up your butt, and she won’t let you sodomize her? I think you have solid grounds for a civil case. Sue the pants off of her. Once her pants are off, her ass is just a felony away.

Sincerely,
Nicole

 

 
Dear Nicole,

I want to have sex with my girlfriend but i am afraid bcoz if i will ask she will leave me so how to convince her.

-DS
 


…Yes, I think I will have fries with that.
 

 
Dear Nicole,

Every time I show a slight act of aggression or violence around my girlfriend, she say's I'm gonna become an abusive husband. How can I reply to this with a sarcastic, witty, dry remark? Because you're so good at those.

-Seth (Froggy)
 

Dear Froggy,

Nothing says sarcastic, witty, or dry like five across the eyes. Next time your “girlfriend” jokes about how you're going to become an abusive husband, you show her who wears the pants. Smacking a girl around is the best way to prove your manhood. Everyone will be very impressed.

Sincerely,
Nicole

 

 
And now, for a few…
“Delicious Dilemmas”
 

I know my name is “nude in a cake,” but I'd rather see you nude in a cake.
-NudeInACake

Can I have a cookie, or maybe a….kiss? 😛
-Chris

Can I cook?
-AnnieOakley
 

Why does the cheese always have to stand alone, Nicole? WHY???
-Cheezwhizzy Lizzy
 

I'm looking at your picture and I think you're the hottest thing since microwaved popcorn. I was just wondering when can we chat about the chance of my presence in your future?
-Celsiusssdpg
 

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