Scene: KC slumbers, but the Organ Gang still works.

BRAIN: You know, as big of a prick as he is, we should do something nice for KC.

JUNK: Like what? Asphyxiate ourselves?

BRAIN: No. Quit being a dick. There's got to be something nice we can do while he's asleep.

JUNK: Morning wood?

BRAIN: There's a start.

MOUTH: I know. I can make more drool.

JUNK: No shit he's scared shitless of being castrated. Who isn't? Now let's get back to that Olivia Munn dream.BRAIN: You're pretty much the dumbest one out of the bunch.

BUTT: He likes farts. I could fart more.

BRAIN: Okay Mouth, you're second dumbest. But I did read that humans pass more gas as they sleep than they do during the day.

OLD CLICKY: Maybe I can pretend to kick stuff?

BRAIN: Just don't wake him up.

FACE: How about, I just randomly grow hair really really really fast in between our eyebrows? That way, he'll wake up and see all this awesome new hair. And they'll all be an inch long.

BACK: Great idea, I'm doing that!

HANDS: Me too!

BRAIN: None of you think growing hair on our head would be a good idea?

JUNK: Or quit growing hair on our balls. Do they have testicle electrolysis?

STOMACH: I'll try digesting the two pounds of Swedish Fish we ate while high.

BRAIN: Finally, a good idea. You do that.

MEKANECK: <<KZZZ-ERT!>> Maybe I'll pretend I'm still fully functional. To <<PIX-OPR!>> refute the feeling of personal claustrophobia KC feels from not being able to bend his <<<NOK-ZWERT!>> neck.

BRAIN: Good point. I haven't thought of anything to do for him. Here goes:

BRAIN: (Whispers to KC) Godzilla is real. And he's out to eat every single ex-girlfriend you've ever had.

BRAIN: Neil Diamond, George Thoroughgood, Jimmy Buffet, and Elton John are all going on tour together. And they want you to hang out, dance, and sing backup vocals on every single song—even though you suck at remembering words. And singing. And dancing.

BRAIN: Olivia Munn reads your blog and thinks you're so funny and handsome, she's going to bang you. But first she's going to bring over her Xbox and Mass Effect 2. And you're both going to play naked.

BRAIN: Red licorice makes you the coolest ninja ever.

BRAIN: Congratulations. You're the prom king. And you won a Pulitzer, Nobel Prize, and a Grammy for your spoken word album. And William Shatner is really your dad.

BRAIN: Now William Shatner is naked. Not buff Captain Kirk Shatner. But moderately creepy Priceline Shatner. Now you're both naked. And in a Jamba Juice. You accidentally put your weiner in a blender…

JUNK: Okay. What the fuck? Why are you dreaming this shit?

BRAIN: I don't know. I just let stuff flow.

JUNK: But why do I have to be in the blender?

STOMACH: Maybe it's a sign that he's afraid to lose you.

JUNK: Well, no shit he's scared shitless of being castrated. Who isn't? Now let's get back to that Olivia Munn dream.

OLD CLICKY: Younsters! I have an idea!

BRAIN: Okay, haven't heard from you in a while.

OLD CLICKY: I bet it would be fun to cramp up, for no good reason.

BRAIN: And what will that show KC?

OLD CLICKY: That we still work? Who cares? Locking up…now!

KC wakes up.

KC: "Ow! My fucking leg! And I have a huge boner. And I feel like I'm going to shit myself. And why the hell was I dreaming about naked Shatner and me playing Mass Effect 2 against Godzilla?"

KC wakes up from sleeping


More in the "My Organs and I" series:
My Organs and I Go on a First Date
My Organs and I Wake Up
My Organs and I Go to Work
My Organs and I Go to a Game
My Organs and I Hook Up (With a Girl)
My Organs and I Detox
My Organs and I Go to Work (At a Bar)
My Organs and I Turn 30
My Organs and I Drive to Denver
My Organs and I Snowboard
My Organs and I Sleep
My Organs and I Go on a Job Interview
My Organs and I Go to Vegas
My Organs and I Party in the ROK
My Organs and I Watch Korean TV
My Organs and I Stay at Home
My Organs and I Go to High School
My Organs and I Write an “Organs and I” Column
My Organs and I Get Laid in the Shower
My Organs and I Go on a Bender