Deer Court,

How do they figure out where to put those deer crossing signs on the road? Does anyone even pay attention to them?? It's not like when I see one I actually slow down or anything. I mean, no offense, I like your column and all but I'm not losing any speed over you or any other deer stupid enough to play in the street.

Wreckless in Minnesota

Dear Wreckless in Minnesota,

Glad you enjoy my column!

Minnesota law states that the installation of deer crossing signs is warranted if five deer car-related accidents have occurred in a twelve month period. If it were up to me, the government would be required to paint deer crosswalks, but alas, I am only one deer in a white man's world.

Studies show that you are no different from most humans distracted by an increasing number of visual roadside stimuli. What most people don't know though, is that road-hopping is a popular sport among the general deer population. The common road sign you are referring to is actually a silhouette of Randall Woods (aka “Bucktooth Blaze), the greatest deer to ever play the sport. As you can see, the sign was modeled after American football's Heisman Trophy. While the sign is considered a mark of respect for an area of the road where humans have unknowingly acknowledged the playing of the sport, it also effectively makes the marked stretch of road out of bounds. It has also led humans to connect the signs with safety!

Thanks for keeping road-hopping challenging and exciting!

Court (the deer)