Four words nearly induced an aneurism this morning. Which ones, you ask? Why, i believe snakes on a plane would be the words in question.

***NEW*** It has come to my attention that many remain unfamiliar with the idiom in question. “Snakes on a plane” is an idiomatic expression equivalent to the French “c'est la vie.” Basically, it is used to describe conundrums in which there really isn't much you can do, such as finding snakes…on a plane.***

Mutha-$#%!-in' Snakes on a Plane. It's an actual movie! I mean I cannot begin to fathom the amount of Ganja require just to start thinking about a movie called “Snakes on a Plane.” Boggles the mind. The movie also happens to star Samuel L. Jackson. I can see the opening scene now…

(As the film opens, we see a snake eating a Big Kahuna Burger.)

Jackson: …Is that a Big Kahuna Burger? (Turns to camera) Who the hell wrote this script?
Snake:(It's a fucking snake people. It has no lines!)
Jackson: First I get eaten by a shark. Now, i'm in a movie…about snakes on a plane. Oh, I see how it's going to be. Well, allow me to retort. (Pulls out an actual gun.)

(Jackson proceeds to empty the clip into the snake. After reloading, Jackson calls his agent in and shoots him…in the face. Afterwards, Jackson holds the weapon up to the camera and delivers a promo.)

…annnnnd scene.

Footage from this is later released in the box office-hit “Action Jackson.”

The press has been all over the film, particularly for it's very title.
The project has also been called “Pacific Air 121,” but interviews with Samuel L. himself explain why the idiomatic version is likely to be what greets audiences in 2006.

Jeffrey Rowland of “Over Compensating” had this to say: “After the blessed euthanization of the Star Wars movies, I was beginning to believe there were no more motion pictures deserving of such undeserved anticipation. “Snakes on a Plane” has changed all that. I actually find myself being extra careful in my daily activities to give myself a better chance of living to see this movie. Man. Snakes on a Plane. It is awesinine.”

I mean seriously. There's no time for parody here, folks. This is bigger than you and I: “Snakes On a Plane” is actually coming to a theatre near you. “And there ain't a Got-damn thing you can do about it!”