I had the pleasure of explaining to Nate tonight that it is, in fact, possible to search your mail on Gmail. Naturally, we then got to talking about the first time he learned how to use Google itself as a search engine (as opposed to a generic pop culture reference to power). Without elaborating, it was to find out more about people by Googling their phone number. Having never done this, I immediately Googled my own phone number, and came up with only one result: an eBay auction listing with the same 10-digit number (no, I'm not for sale). It was for a Southern/Gospel/Bluegrass album by “The Country Gentleman,” available for a “Buy It Now” price of $4.95. If that doesn't sum me up, I don't know what does.

Oh, and just to assure you that I'm not the only one on PIC still learning things “everyone else knew,” I'll confess a little secret: I just learned that 555 is a telephone prefix reserved for movies and TV shows. I guess I can stop Googling all those girls' phone numbers now.

I know you already get plenty of it, but I would like you to take a look at the contents of this particular spam email I received, then read the subject line. In the time it takes you to appreciate the irony, someone who didn't just died.

Hi,

How would you like to automatically achieve almost anything you wanted… without having to try – or even THINK about – achieving it? If so, you'll want to check out this link… [removed for your safety]

Using this tool, you can “activate” advanced thinking, super-learning, success magnetism, inject new personality traits (instantly) and dissolve any annoying bad habits… in a flash.

Also, use it to…

* Increase your mental powers & abilities.
* Activate “super-learning” and advanced thought.
* Empower yourself with unstoppable confidence.
* Blast through limitations, with zero effort.
* Achieve your goals…
* Be who you want to be!

To learn more, click the following link to be rushed to our website…

Subject: Upgrade Your Brain with Brain Bullet

Only this billboard I photographed tonight could “top” the irony of mental suicide:

That's right you sick, selfish fucks, 3-year-old little Sally Twiddletwat is going to throw a MEGA TEMPER TANTRUM if you don't DONATE YOUR CAR RIGHT NOW so she can drive to the mall for some new Apple Bottom jeans. Better get used to taking the shuttle to class cuz the Outreach Center isn't fucking around when it comes to providing the best transportation for the youth of tomorrow. That's right, the next time you get towed, don't go asking for your car back; this one's for the needy (aka Sally “kars r nete” Twiddletwat).

I FEEL LIKE I'M TAKING CRAZY PILLS!!!

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