Leroy: What you got to eat?
Me: Turkey, chicken, broccoli, lean beef, asparagus, pickles, dried apricots, bananas, blueberries and strawberries. What do you want?
Leroy: A fucking restaurant nearby, that's what I want.

Me: You should start going to the gym.
Babyface: You should stick your dick in a garbage disposal.
Me: Well, that was just mean.

Leroy: You see, that stripper had personality.
Me: Yup.
Leroy: That's one of the biggest problems with these chicks. They just think that all they have to do is wiggle their assets and get money. Well, I guess they think that 'cause it works.
Me: Makes sense.
Leroy: Yeah, but the chicks who get into it?who make eye contact and display some personality?are the best ones because the exchange doesn't feel so? so?
Me: Machinated.
Leroy: If that's the word you want to use, then fine. The point is, there should be more to the shit than just going through the motions. I mean, take some pride in your jobs, you dumb whores.
Me: You should be some kind of strip club consultant.
Leroy: Be a great job, actually.

Me: I can't eat that. I'm on a diet.
Dave: I know. That's why I brought it. Now don't mention it again or I will force feed it to your calorie counting ass.
Me: Why's everyone so testy lately?
Dave: I blame the economy.

Me: You broke my fucking camera.
Leroy: I didn't know you were gonna let go of it.
Me: You batted it out of my hand.
Leroy: I swatted your hand a little. You let go of it. You know, you should really take better care of your things, Nate.
Me: Fuck you man. You broke my brand new camera.
Leroy: I'll buy you another one, but if you put a picture of me on the internet, I'm breaking your arm. And I get to choose which one.
Me: You're a real prince, you know that?
Leroy: I do, indeed.

Mark: What are you taking pictures for? You hate pictures.
Me: I know. I saw some nature watcher with a camera here a little earlier and I thought, ‘What a douche.” Then I realized that I have a camera and I'm taking pictures.
Mark: But you're doing it for a blog, which I believe is worse.
Me: I have become what I behest.
Mark: That wording was a little melodramatic, don't you think?
Me: Everyone's a critic.

Me: So basically, the way I figure it is, if I can keep my diet up and maintain my current pace?
Leroy: Would you please shut the fuck up about your work out program?


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