I've recently rented the first season of Scrubs from netflix *Smiles while holding up red envelope* I now have the first four seasons waiting in my queue, and here's why.

Scrubs is Unfuckingbelievafuckingble. Fucking.

In fact, Scrubs is so good, that here is a list of non-fabricated (exaggerated hyperbole to follow later in this blog) reactions I have to the show.

– I tear up. And not at moving parts either. I literally kinda just bask in its greatness and get a little wet in the eyes because it's so good.

– I'm rooting for J.D. like he's me. The girls he hooks up with. I'm like, YES !!!

– At one point I actually caught myself thinking, “I should go to med school.”

And being the thinker that I am, whenever I find something particularly wonderful or awful, I like to dwell on it until it puts me into a coma… so here's what I love about the show.

Zach Braff – Good LORD does he nail that part. Garden State was good, but I'm telling you: I AM J.D. DORIAN. The whole relieving tension with humor thing. (God I sound like such a tool). But I'm serious. I'll just leave it at this: The last sitcom character I identified with was completely torn to shreds when he started dating Monica. And I even knew then that it was a stretch. J.D. is the character that I do in my head when people catch me talking to myself.

Dr. Cox – It's generally not a good thing to announce a huge man-crush the post after you just went off about how Gays are okay in your book, but it can't be helped. In fact I almost turned this into a “My Current Man Crush” post. It still might happen.

I don't know if it's because I identify with J.D. so much, but this guy is Hilarious. Every time you laugh at one of his ridiculous put-downs, the show will catch you with one of his sad, truthy moments that make you coo like he's a koala trying to figure out a cell phone. I just want to hug him, and make him be my daddy.

Seriously this post is REALLY REALLY GAY!

The Breaks in Reality – Perfect.

The Janitor – Oh what's that? They call him McDreamy, because it's like he's so dreamy that it could be his last name? Oh wow that is pretty funny. I guess you're right.

What does it say about me and abusive father figures that I want my own personal foil to criticize and hate me for no reason? C'mon it would be a riot and not troublesome at all.

The Theme – The whole sappy, inner monologue, stressed out, guy who means well but just can't get it right angle of the show is right up my alley. I had a professor who said that the reason we watch movies and TV is so that we can be in a sense “prepared” for these kind of problems in real life. Scrubs is so reassuring that I don't really care that I know it's all bullshit.

It really does match the kinda hectic, everyday feel of life and just trying to get by. And I don't even work in a hospital. How does it do that? The writers somehow have created this ridiculous world where ludicrous (That world is impossible to spell ever since it became a rapper.) things occur yet it paradoxically feels like, and teaches you lessons about, real life.

That's how you blend comedic and dramatic moments, twats.

Now, besides the fact that it's a stupid GIRL show and that's all I have to say, here's what's wrong with Grey's.

– I have a natural test for whether show, movies, bands, etc. are good. If I can watch them for five minutes without making some sarcastic remark that sums up the entire essence of the work, then hey, I'll stick around.

For Grey's my comment was something along these lines. “Awwwww, it's like my heart is giggling, yet crying” Followed by mock applause and walking out of the room sniffling like the TV is a casket with my dead grandfather in it.

Here's some other examples:
WE ARE MARSHALL: “Hey guys, if our football team wins, all of life's problems go away! Just ask The Rock and Denzel Washington and Adam Sandler”
Pussycat Dolls: “I have Boobs.” *Fart Noise*

– I missed the part where Grey's is funny… or touching. The only death that mattered on the show was because Miss Needstobenaked Hiegl (look I used a grey's joke!) was in WUB with him.

Also apparently it's funny when the black one yells, or George looks stunned.

– The goddamned bubbly musical cues that let you know it's okay to have a uterus. You know what I'm talking about. There aren't actual jokes in the show, just moments where apparently you giggle because you're a woman. I feel like that song is transmitting old Ellen Degeneres stand-up on some freq. that men can't hear.

– The Girls you watch it with all react the same way. They hiss at the redhead, they get real quite when Denny's on, and they talk about how cute, but not dateable George is. They could replace characters with title cards with emotions printed on them.

– I don't know how you write a show so that every character gets on my nerves, but they've done it.