Omegle chat logoHave you tried using Omegle yet? All it does it load a huge chat window, then you press "Start a Chat" and it connects you to a random stranger. It's everything you ever wanted from the man in the white van as a child, without the threat of losing your anal virginity.

Here's how one of my first conversations went. (I like to think of it as a sister concept to AIM Convos.)

Stranger: It's your birthday. Someone gives you a calfskin wallet. How do you react?
You: I say, where's the dead cow, I'm hungry.
Stranger: You've got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar. What do you do?
You: Open it up… Butterflies give you wiiiiiiiings!
Stranger: You're watching television. Suddenly you realize there's a wasp crawling on your arm.
You: Is this odd?
Stranger: Is what odd?
You: Wasps crawling on my arm while I'm watching TV?
You: I never thought twice about those nests.
You: Maybe I should trim my arm hair.
Stranger: You're in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise,
Stranger: it's crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on its back,
Stranger: the tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't, not without your help. But you're not helping. Why is that?
You: Obviously I was trying to kill it to begin with.
Stranger: Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind. About your mother.
You: Orgasms.
Stranger: is that the only word?
You: Yes.
Stranger: well you probably aren't a replicant, but that is the least of your problems
You: Good, it wasn't ever very high on the list.
Stranger: you have a strong oedipal complex
You: I do, thank you.
Stranger: the tortoise represents your father
Stranger: who you want to kill
Stranger: thinking of your mother brings thoughts of orgasm
Stranger: even if it was in just, it is what your mind turned to
You: I'm Court jesting. Everything is in jest.
You: Or at least… just.

You have disconnected.