A woman in Texas is being executed for being found guilty of murdering an infant. I think it's great that Texas doesn't have gender equality issues. It's great to know that equal opportunity extends to the death penalty. Warms my heart and such.

Why is it, whenever a woman says the phrase, “I just don't know what to make of you” that I'm pretty sure she won't stay around much longer?

Sometimes my observations come in question form. I'm silly like that.

I'm afraid of Memorial Day Weekend. It has a reputation for handcuffing me. And not in the good way. Most people don't understand this fear, but my friends at the bar? they get it.

I over-microwaved some bacon and it burnt to a crisp. And then, after I opened my microwave, the bacon-holding ceramic plate broke in half. I mean, I don't understand how that could happen. And I own the microwave. I rent the kitchen. I would think total mysteries wouldn't be that close, but fortunately for me, I don't let stuff like that get the better of me. I mean, how much does a plate cost?

With the Cardinals sucking ass, listening to Vin Scully has been my number one favorite reason for shelling out a hundred sixty bucks for the MLB ticket. If you get a chance, listen to Vin Scully announce a baseball game. He's the last of an endangered species.

Recently, just north of Tampa, a woman and man were arrested for fucking in public (in the parking lot of a bar and on the street in front if it). Naturally, because they were both arrested, it is safe to assume they were both ugly. (Oh and side note: I got head in that same parking lot once?it's a love-inspiring gravel lot, it is.)

I don't think anyone really understands why people speak in generalizations.

You know you're drunk when logic and fluidity refuse to give you a closing line, so I'll just tell you that I'm sorry.

Sorry like a Fox!

(Man, I hope that made sense.)

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