First off, yes. Yes it is but often only if designated a “business expense.” Ladies, it was a pleasure giving you the business. Oh, and Frank, the money I save will help me get past such an awkward night.

***Note to readers: anonymous orgies are not advised as appropriate party and/or drinking games.***

Speaking of business, i've been out of commission for a while. Sorry. But like any good zombie, i've returned after being presumably dead (perhaps even to someone's dismay). In fact, when last I blogged, the world was a different place. Spring Break seemed several drunken weekends (and weekdays) away, the Superbowl had just faded from memory, and your Final Four bracket seemed like a sure thing. Times have changed. Thank you, George Mason University for showing us the error of our ways. Next time, South Central Oregon Community College and Car Wash will be my overall top-seed.

When last you read my blog (assuming you've ever read it), I was finally getting settled back in the Big Sleazy. The process has been…well, unsettling to say the least. The concept of change is sweeping the region in ways reminiscent of baby sitters and dirty diapers. Sadly, i fear that such a process is leading to many people being shat upon, particularly the baby sitters. Defecation aside, the story here remains one of uncertainty and anticipation. We still aren't certain if the Girl Gone Wild: Mardi Gras '06 video is as good as we hope. I sense that your prayers are with us.

Is this my official return from hiatus? Is the former president Bill Clinton speaking at Tulane's commencement? Is Bill really going to give a speech along with George “Wouldn't be Prudent” Bush? Will their Wonder Twin powers activate, blinding thousands? I believe that all depends on what the meaning of the word “is” is.