Halloween Drunk Comment
"Her friends should tell her to have some decency." — James
Best Example Of Not Taking Your Own Advice Part 2
Again, I dressed up like a lesser-known character. This time, Montgomery "Scotty" Scott from the Starship Enterprise. I fielded a lot of the same questions, "Where are your ears Spock?" Or "Make out with any green chicks today Captain Kirk?" Alas, this country is full of fucking illiterate heathens. But I did get an excuse to talk in a crappy Scottish accent again (I pretended to be Braveheart a few years ago). I also shaved my face completely for the first time in nearly eight years.
Least Humorous Nerds
I saw a Captain Kirk and Spock, but they didn't even register my existence. Granted, Scotty is just the chief engineer and they're the captain and the second-in-command science officer, but still, at least salute back you fucking dickheads.
My Favorite Costume Couples
I saw one couple each wearing giant pieces of bread on their backs, and the boy was dressed in all brown and the girl was all red. Then they kissed to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich – it's so cute I barfed.
I also saw a Cruella De Vil with two skanky dalmatian chicks on leashes. That was pretty hot.
Dumbest Costume Accessory
Rollerskates. Now, I'm a RollgerGirl and Boogie Nights fan, but I've seen way too many girls bust their faces or their asses trying to drink and rollerskate. This year, on top of three RollerGirls I saw a Terry (the gay Nick Swardson character from Reno 911!) and he nearly crushed crowds of people. Sure, it's a great costume, but you put way too many people at risk. Of course, watching people fall over is funny though.
Dumb But No Dumber?
Seriously, I saw a Lloyd Christmas but no Harry Dunn? What, you couldn't find the baby blue tuxedo and another friend? They could have been great together.
Creepiest Maybe Accidental Costume Prop (Tied)
Was Little Miss Muffet really pregnant? Or did some spider cum down inside her? If so, why the hell was she out at a bar?
Some dirty pirate hooker painted an amazing goose egg on her head. Oops. That wasn't fake, somebody accidentally headbutted her. Looked creepy as hell though. And painful.
Costume I Wish I Would Have Done
I really just didn't give a shit this year. I didn't try. I spent twenty bucks and borrowed another from my brother. Sorry.
Most Seen Costume
I saw a lot of Lady Gaga's, Cruella De Vils and a few Wolverines. There were a ton of Lt. Dangles from Reno 911! Surprisingly, I only saw one Joker, which I thought would be all over the place. And only one Obama. Come on people! Did political satire die?
The second night was a tough one, because I was much more critical. I saw a lot of great stuff though. Two cops at our bar wore some pretty cool mustaches. Humpty Hump made an appearance. There were guys from Tool Academy. I saw a cowboy riding a gorilla (complete with stilts).
But my favorite of the night was a spot on Billy Mays – the OxyClean guy. He even yelled a lot. That's pretty awesome.
Costumes I Will Do Next Year If I Remember (but won't becasue I never remember to read my own old stuff)
Hulk Hogan, Pee Wee Herman or Peter Pan.
Until next costume season, enjoy the rest of the year people. Remember to play dress up as much as possible to prepare for Halloween 2010!
What were your favorite and least favorite costumes of the year?
More in the series:
Halloween Headaches 1.0 (2008)
Halloween Headaches 2.0 (2009)
Halloween Headaches 2.51 (2009)
Pre-Halloween Headaches (2010)
Halloween Headaches (2010)
Halloween Headaches (2011)
Pre-Halloween Headaches (2012)
Halloween Headaches (2012)