Well, the results are in. Recently, due to an arrest of NBA player Ron Artest for domestic violence, ESPN.com took a poll of two thousand professional athletes in an attempt to deduce the top 10 reasons to slap a wife. I've reprinted the list here because we all know that ESPN.com needs the traffic help.

Number 10
Bitch was looking a little heavy.

Number 9
Bitch went on a radio talk show and forgot to plug my website.

Number 8
Seriously man, it was the steroids.

Number 7
Man, I was drunk and the bitch? I think she was talking or something. Anyway, she deserved it.

Number 6
What, I need a reason? Go fuck yourself.

Number 5
Bitch never shuts up. And I mean, never.

Number 4
She likes it. No, really.

Number 3
Got tired of my lack of media coverage. Needed to stir the pot a little.

Number 2
She insulted my mistress.

And the Number 1 reason that professional male athletes hit their wives is:

For the cardio.

Thanks, I'll be here all week. And don't forget to tip your cows.

Moo!

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