Sometimes, after weeks of enjoying the pleasure that is me, some girls will, for whatever stupid reason, decide to go off and get freaky with another fella. Such is life and all that. But, almost all the time, when that girl finishes with her new man, she gives me a call again.

I am a frequent recipient of the callback. So frequent in fact, that I have figured out how to break down this phenomenon into its core experiences. It starts with the awkward phone call/booty call.

Usually, the chick in question calls me up, invents a bullshit reason to have me come by, and then gets her box banged. It's an experience that is as simple as it is pure.

Later, after the initial bang has been bucked, I go back to my simple life of malt beverages, organized sporting events and chicks who should really know better. At least, until I get the second phone call.

The second phone call indicates either one of two things: another booty call or a date. The booty call is self-explanatory. And if it is successful, it will eventually lead to her finally calling for a date.

(Side note: I have found that girls who go back to guys they haven't seen in a while have a tendency to freeze those guys in the age and time in which they dated. For example, I had a callback that lasted a month or so with a chick I hadn't dated in three years, and she kept insisting that we were the same age, but we were actually three years apart. It was as if she thought I hadn't aged since I had seen her last. Chicks going for the callbacks literally think they have exactly what they lost, and hardly ever consider for one second what kind of changes I could have gone through since I last saw them. And almost all chicks, in my experience, do this. It really is fascinating, but not integral to this piece so that's why it's a side note.)

After the date, assuming we didn't get into a fight, the girl and I will try the relationship again. From there, it usually takes about one to two months to realize why we broke up in the first place. And so naturally, we then break up all over again. The second breakup is always easier because, well, we've had practice.

No doubt, many of you have experienced the callback as well. And no doubt, many of you are wondering why you would go back with someone that you despised enough to leave in the first place. And well, the answer is quite simple: It's easy. It's easier than finding someone new and pretending to be who they want you to be.

And well, that's why I kinda hate our current culture. We want everything to be easier. We want the food right away, the sex right away, the sensations right away, and we don't want to think about any of it.

And the more we demand that things be easier and simpler, the more we come to rely on the people, objects and systems in our life that can make things simpler. Which means, essentially, that the more we get used to things being easy, the more prepared we are to be ruled by the world around us, and not, as it should be, the other way around.

And so, essentially, every time you participate in the callback, you are also participating in our culture's most despicable trait: laziness.

But whatever, right? I mean, as long as you get laid?