K Si sent me this lovely story that doesn't quite fit anywhere else on PIC, so I thought I'd "squeeze it in" on my blog. Enjoy.

As told by "Molly" at a little bonfire/get-together this past Saturday.

Dan Ryan ExpresswayMolly: …So I was like nearly blacked-out drunk having anal sex in the back of my car, ON THE SHOULDER OF THE DAN RYAN.

K Si: What?! Where?!?!

Molly: You know, the Dan Ryan….

K Si: Well yeah, but, I mean, where… okay whatever keep going.

Molly: At some point I felt something on my ass…

K Si: Instead of IN it….

Molly: I reached back there to feel the shit particles on my ass…

K Si: Wha– Why?

Molly: ‘Cause I was drunk.

Joe K: …Wow.

Molly: And I got a bunch of poo on my hand.

K Si: Ugh…

Molly: So then I wake up at like 6:30 in the morning to an Illinois State Trooper knocking on my window….

K Si and Joe K: HOLY SHIT!

Molly: I told him to hold on a sec, 'cause I wasn't wearing any pants or underwear, and I had my own poo on my hand….

Joe K: (falls out of his chair laughing) FU-U-U-U-UCK THAT!

Molly: So I put a glove on so the cop wouldn't see or smell the poop.

K Si: SWEET FUCKIN' CHRIST, you didn't….

Molly: Well I thou–

K Si: You thought he wouldn't see you do this, or smell your "poo-hand" already?!?

Molly: Well he didn't write me a ticket….

K Si: ….Wow.

(At this point we were beyond the realm of laughing, reeling from the overall imagery, when she trumped herself with the best line anyone ever could've followed that story with…)

Molly: Oh and that was the night I lost my "ass-virginity."