Uh-oh! We notice that you’re using an ad blocker. We get it, ads are irritating, but we here at the New York Times rely on ad revenue to pay our workers for the hard-hitting journalism that keeps you coming back for more. Please consider disabling the ad blocker and refreshing the page.

Oh no! We see that you’ve got an ad blocker activated. Can’t fault you there! Ads are a major bummer, but we here at 4chan rely on the money from the sale of your personal information to targeted advertisers to keep driving the hate speech and vile personal attacks that keep people tuned into the chan. Please disable the ad blocker and refresh the page.

Well drat! We see that your ad blocker is on. We get it, ads are a hassle, but the fine folks here at Pornhub are counting on that sweet LiveJasmin ad revenue stream to keep our yachts running and our cam models performing. Please get rid of the ad blocker and for the love of god use incognito mode when refreshing the page.

Whoopsy doodle! We here at Breitbart don’t like ads any more than the men, women, or lizard people at other reputable news websites, but we need the advertising money to keep our tinfoil hats from disintegrating and to keep paying off Alex Jones to stop him from sending in his job application again. Help a brotha out and disable your ad blocker to keep us chugging along. Shaka, brah!

Zoinks! Accuweather.com doesn’t want to rain on your parade, but we need that juicy, juicy marketing money to keep powering these weather puns. It’s the generous money from our advertisers that keeps our coffers full and our skies cloud-free, so unless you want to go back to looking like an idiot when you make small talk with your barber about the impending weather, get to taking that ad blocker off your browser, loser.

Slow your roll, buddy! Sorry to do this, but you can’t have the keys to the kingdom until you switch off that pesky ad blocker. Did you really think that IMDB sustained itself just from the web traffic of mothers trying to remember the name of “that guy she liked in that movie with the other guy”? Think again. We’re selling your info to Daniel-Day Lewis. He uses it as part of his “method” or something creepy like that. We don’t ask anymore. Unless you want to go back to frantically googling “who directed Parasite” when you’re trying to look cultured in front of your boss, we suggest turning off the ad blocker.

hey do you think you could turn off the ad blocker please because tumblr really needs the money not just to keep our servers running but also to keep cranking out our original content do you think it’s easy to take photos of tweets and caption them with comments or to make unformatted notepad poetry it isn’t easy this stuff doesn’t write itself we’ve got literally millions of underpaid freelance 13-year-olds doing it and their parents get really mad when we don’t help cover their lunch money so please chip in please

Well, this is awkward! We can’t help but notice the big fat, ad blocker you’re rocking on your Google Chrome. Hey, no worries, Etsy is cool, we’re “with it.” We know that you don’t want a bunch of clickbait clogging up the margins of your browser when you’re trying to buy mittens for your Pomeranian or searching for just the right miniature, scale-model Parthenon birdhouse, but we’ve got children to feed too. And since the sale of quilting kits can only stave off the holders of our collective student debt for so long, we really need you flip the switch on that ad blocker, please and thank you. That way we can spend less time scrambling to thwart the repo man and more time designing repurposed-vinyl zebra masks for any old occasion.

You’ve got cancer! Have we got your attention? Sorry we had to do that, but WebMD is going to have to cut right to the chase like that for the foreseeable future if you keep skimping us on our ad revenue. We need the money from these shady super PACs and big pharma to power our databases upon databases of symptoms that we rigorously maintain. Not just anybody could come up with our patented, high-powered algorithm for telling you what horrid diseases you’ve got—and processing power like that doesn’t come for free. So unless you want us to start breaking news about your impending paranoid biopsy via text message because we can’t afford the email blasts anymore, you’d better get to turning off that nuisance of an ad blocker.

egocentric \ ē-gō-ˈsen-trik \ noun — Limited in outlook or concern to one’s own activities or needs. Ex: The egocentric internet-goer couldn’t handle the stress of clicking a tiny “X” on an ad every now and then, so he took the food right out of our mouths by turning on an ad blocker. Thanks a lot! Merriam-Webster.com gets that not everybody likes ads, but we’re going to send you this Word of the Day every day until you take the hint.


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