Day 1: The Trump Presidency revives the Alien and Sedition Acts.
Day 13: Fox News announces that Trump has signed an unprecedented trade deal with Narnia.
Day 27: As a result of the Alien and Sedition Acts, most college professors have been jailed. Numerous Trump supporters volunteer to fill in for the professors but state that they won’t teach classes mentioning evolution, global warming, or tricky math problems.
Day 33: Trump announces the appointment of his boyhood idol as Treasury Secretary. Scrooge McDuck is approved by a Republican congress the next day.
Day 58: Trump signs additional trade agreements with Rhodesia, Hawaii, The Black Forrest, Gevalia Coffee and the Ottoman Empire. Paul Ryan, in an interview with Fox News, is asked why it looks like he has shoe polish on his tongue.
Day 77: Trump completes the Mexican Wall using bricks from bankrupt casinos. The wall is 11.5 inches tall and he declares it the greatest wall built by a president since Davy Crockett built the Alamo.
Day 92: Mike Pence returns from a guest appearance on The Howdy Doody Show, where he portrayed Knucklehead Smith. Pence assumes the daily chores of the presidency and Trump retires to Trump Castle. Trump hangs the “Mission Accomplished” banner on the turret.
Day 100: Bill Kristol is seen splashing through the moat around Trump Castle with Roger Ailes and Sean Hannity in hot pursuit.