It's taken me a lot to get to this point: taking a poop while on acid. But I felt as if this should be documented for the world to know. For those of you who never intend to drop acid, this is what it means to poop while tripping: everything. It means everything. I cannot explain this in greater detail as my senses only allow me this much but it is everything.

There are people crying in the room next to me, but all I must do is breathe. And poop. Breathe then poop.

Time is heightened so it feels as if I am releasing a poop that has been inside me since the Middle Ages. I haven't even started to poop yet. The buildup to it is exciting and then you poop and it is gone in a flash. I literally had all this pent up excitement going on… what it would be like to take a dump while on acid and then I'm in the middle of writing this struggling to get one out and all of a sudden….

It's gone. I have pooped.

Video game bathroom

I'm not sure how much time has passed since my bottom first came in contact with this toilet but I do know that this constitutes as a small adventure of the night. I understand how seemingly small tasks can become greater journeys.

It's probably been 30 minutes since I started pooping and I am still as terrified as before I began.I am now becoming intoxicated by the smell of the poop. It has been a few minutes since I pooped, yet here I am with my pants still down and I have not flushed the toilet. I have not even left the toilet. My cheeks are still spread across the toilet and oh god this smell. Probably only 30 seconds have passed but I think I've been with this smell of poop for a lifetime.

There are still people crying in the other room. I feel as if I have overstayed my welcome. They are now judging the poop. I would say that I am at one with the poop but I am not. I know when you're on a trip you are supposed to be at one with everything but I am not at one with this poop. I need to flush. Oh god the smell.

The rest of the world is contemplating what movie to watch on Netflix and I'm dealing with larger issues. My poop. It's been about ten minutes since I began this journey but I'm feeling like J.K. Rowling going through her fifteenth edit of Harry Potter because this has been one long ass adventure. Pun intended. Poop.

I think I'm ready to move on to the level of toilet paper.

The world is unaware of the fact that I am pooping. Has it been a minute or a year? I have seriously been on this toilet for longer than I thought I could. Or would. They are still debating what to watch on Netflix and I can't gain the courage to reach for the toilet paper. Terrifying moment where I thought there wasn't toilet paper. There is.

But oh god the smell. I'm still terrified to make this next step. I'm confused but the smell is overwhelming so I know I must take the next step in my journey.

Dear god. Why did I ever think pooping while on acid would be special? This is extremely ordinary. I'm just very aware of this ordinary event. Which is pooping.

They have once again become aware that I am missing. It has been a short while since I left to poop, but it leaves them wondering still. I really need to flush oh god the smell.

The toilet paper is within my reach.

The mission has been completed but I think I clogged the toilet. We are staying in this classy ass villa on the beach and I think I clogged the toilet. Fuck. I'm frozen solid. I'm standing just looking down at the toilet with a shocked expression on my face. I'm going to try flushing again but I am scared. I thought the gods would align and bless me but this toilet is clogged. This started as a little expedition about pooping and now I'm dealing with a clogged toilet and the shame that comes with it.

If anything has become apparent to me during this trip it is to accept my bodily functions as they are and not let them detract from who I am as a person. Man I barely ate today! I think a few minutes just passed and all I have to show for it is the gurgling of the toilet.

My phone battery is going down. The shame. I have to get out. At some point I must face the shame. It's probably been 30 minutes since I started pooping and I am still as terrified as before I began. I could live in this bathroom forever if only I brought in the phone charger.

I escaped and admitted to the whole room that I clogged the toilet. I feel as if they have accepted me on a deeper level but I am unsure whether I have accepted myself. They want to make cookies and that makes sense. If there is anything that makes sense it is the concept of those cookies.

I found the plunger about five minutes ago but it is currently lying on the bed. It's okay because it is wrapped in plastic. The clogged toilet stares at me from a distance and I am scared to enter back into that portion of my life. I was stuck in that bathroom for a long time and I am terrified of the prison. I no longer want to be behind locked doors but I must plunge this toilet for my dignity.

They are trying to have these spiritual talks right now and all I can focus on is the poop of mine that is floating around in the pipes of this classy ass villa. I have still not reentered the bathroom. I know I must. To think that this has only been 30 minutes of my life is extraordinary because I sure have put a lot of work into this moment.

Everything is fleeting. Except for that poop. That poop clogged the toilet. Nothing is fleeting. We will try hard to escape unnoticed but eventually we will clog the toilet and have to ask for a plunger. In the eyes of God I am admitting tonight that I clogged a toilet. But in a way there is a beauty to the fact that I had the power to clog a toilet. I, just one man, had the ability to leave an impact that is still fucking with my life 30 minutes later.

I have to reenter the bathroom but I am comfortable on this bed. I seriously can't believe I clogged the fucking toilet. But I will embrace the power it gives me.

The floor feels so nice on my feet. I am ready. I wish I could explain the passing of time in this moment as it is so absolutely beautiful. But frankly I must plunge this toilet. For a while I thought that no time could be wasted but I think I've wasted too much time on this poop.

I have unwrapped the plunger that this hotel so kindly wrapped up for its guests. It is sitting in the toilet but I do not want to move it. I am no longer afraid but it seems peaceful to just not move.

I broke the peace and now this toilet is even worse.

I really fucked up this time. I'm actually concerned that this may be a much deeper issue than I at first anticipated. This toilet is clogged. And on the brink of overflow. But the floor still feels so nice and it is quiet while I stare at the plunger in the toilet. I think a few more minutes have passed. This has already felt like my second term served in this prison, but I have to deal with my past failures in order to escape the torment. The smell has subsided this time. It is just me and a plunger. I feel ready for the journey.

I WAS RIGHT! That plunger in my hands now feels magical. I no longer care if the toilet can flush or not, so long as I can feel that power in my hands with the sploosh of the water riding under it.

I am breathing heavily, for I finally feel content. I still want to make cookies, but the thrill of this plunger makes up for the terror of its past. I no longer feel ashamed. And that is a good thing. If anything has become apparent to me during this trip it is to accept my bodily functions as they are and not let them detract from who I am as a person.

This toilet is fucked up. I might leave it for a while because I'm really hungry. I'll enjoy the plunging when I am ready for it again. Yet I can't leave because I have set out to finish this task.

I fear that this toilet is beyond my fixing. I literally cannot comprehend that one tiny shit has fucked up this much of my night. This bathroom will have to be off limits for a while. I refuse to move again for five minutes.

It has been twelve minutes since I made that deal with myself, and all I have done is gone back to reread what I have already experienced.

I just don't want to plunge the toilet. I'm on Spring Break and I really didn't intend on this being a part of my night. I'm going to test out this plunger one more time but I swear to god if it doesn't work….

I still haven't moved.

This is fucked up but my roommate came in and is literally trying to save the day. He is not saving the day. He is judging me for clogging the toilet. Fuck this villa.

Just like that it flushed and I can breathe again.

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