On December 19, 2010 at 9pm EST, we replaced the middle of the front page with a Facebook live chat open to readers and writers (aka "the literate"). The following are some comedic highlights plucked from just over 3 hours of action, in the spirit of Nate's Snippets. (PIC writers are linked once when they first appear. Conversations are in order from first to last.)
Court Sullivan: i thought about redirecting everyone from "10 things about black people" to this chat. imagine their surprise to find out WE'RE ALL WHITE
Nick Gaudio: the internet is for white people
Keke Deville: Howdie. I feel like I'm intruding on some weird Deep South family reunion.
Robert King: Just be honest with the readers Court. PIC is actually an underground Klan group
Court Sullivan: yeah i always thought of myself more as a grandmaster than a webmaster
Nathan DeGraaf: we had a black guy once. his name was e. mike. court oppressed him good. real good
Robert King: I believe this is our first official rally. Time to update the About page.
Paul Frank: This live chat is only a couple jokes away from being funnier than Lopez Tonight
Nathan DeGraaf: i feel i need to mention this: I'm on beer six.
Nicholas Winton: where is my beer? oh my bad, I thought this was pints in cases …
Court Sullivan: when are sports going to be available on the internet, GEEZ
Nick Gaudio: http://www.myp2pforum.eu > click NFL. it's as legal as stolen windowsill pie
Court Sullivan: things like that scare me and my laptop. i'd rather have julian assange over for a networking party
Julian Asange: ?'ELLO ‘ELLO! G'day mates! Chip chip cheerio!
Bill Dixon: Julian Asange! I'm such a big fan? Do you read PIC?
Andrei Trostel: Do they serve meatballs in Sweedish prison? Oh wait…that is probably a painful subject Julian.
Julian Asange: Do you guys like DOCUMENTS, oy?!
Julian Asange: I bummed some fags in the clink, yes?
Michael Winston: you've bummed more fags than a british hobo
Nathan DeGraaf: I like how this site was apparently born over Christmas break. Court clearly had his share of drunken nights.
Court Sullivan: hey er'body, did u know nate was born on god's son's bday??
Nathan DeGraaf: You know who else was born on Christmas? that's right: Ricky Henderson. Take that Jesus.
Court Sullivan: I wonder how many random readers are voyeuring right now…
Robert King: I don't know. But I have my pants off in case they're wondering.
Bill Dixon: Yes, Robert's pants are definitely off.
Court Sullivan: Yes, Bill can definitely see that Robert's pants are off.
Ashley Garmany: My pants are off too, what a coincidence.
Julian Asange: I don't usually wear condoms, but I shall make an exception for you Ashley! Fancy a shag?
Nick Gaudio: my apartment is filled with baby wasps.
Court Sullivan: are you having a young republicans party, gaudio?
Ohh wooaah (3x)
You know you love me,I know you care
Just shout whenever, And I'll be there
You want my love, You want my heart
And we will never ever ever be apart
Are we an item? Girl quit playing
Were just friends, What are you saying
Said theres another, Look right in my eyes
My first love broke my heart for the first time,
And I was like
Baby, baby, baby ohhh
Like baby, baby, baby noo
Like baby, baby, baby ohh
Casey Freeman: also, let's get this party started. i've got about 15 more minutes before i get ready for work.
Andrei Trostel: Apparently Korean kids go to night school.
Robert King: Because during the day they have to make my clothes.
Casey Freeman: ok. kids go to regular school like americans. then they go to specialized "academies" like math, science, dance, English and so on. so i teach kids after they've already been to school. about 8-15 years old.
Nathan DeGraaf: Robert, they don't educate the day laborers. How would they propogate generations of child work?
Court Sullivan: chinese children: "ya, we make ur shirt, sew what?"
Nathan DeGraaf: Court once called me from a baseball game to ask me what ERA meant.
Court Sullivan: as in, what boring era was baseball invented in
Nathan DeGraaf: Court once went to a football game and wrote about the crowd and the view.
Court Sullivan: as in, "it's hard to see which dogs are winning the fights from all the way up here in the georgia dome"
Alex Willen: oh SNAP
Casey Freeman: boosh.
Andrei Trostel: Is anyone else still waiting for Court to provide a topic? No? Just me? Never mind.
Nathan DeGraaf: if Court provided topics, we wouldn't have anything we wanted to write about
Julian Asange: Still waitin' on a goodbye! I'm lonely, ya buggers!
Julian Asange: I'm just…it's just so lonely typing up thousands of pages of stuff about wars started by a country that I don't even live in.
Chris Phelan: Hey everybody.. I'm here, but fantasy football managed to ravage my soul and happiness today. If you need me you can find me wandering through traffic on I-95
Court Sullivan: hey chris, that's where i lost my dog too, can you just take a quick glance around for him?
Julian Asange: I'm thinking of changing the title of my website. Any ideas. GoogleLeaks? FacebookLeaks? BangBrosLeaks?
Melanie Norton: Court, any suggestions on night caps? I'd love to see this chat get tipsy.
Court Sullivan: personally, i love a where's waldo night cap. very holiday-esque and comfy
Robert King: Tipsy? I've already got my boobs out. Who wants to motorboat me?
Nathan DeGraaf: I am now on my 11th beer, children.
Chris Phelan: lets all turn on this repeat of To Catch a Predator and hope the decoy is the one ridiculously hot decoy
Paul Frank: Lol, they should have a spinoff where Chris Hansen doesn't come out for a really long time and they see what happens.
Nathan DeGraaf: It's gotten to the point where if a chick I'm dating doesn't have a stalker, I wonder what's wrong with her. A lot of men are perverted introverts nowadays.
a marvelous bird is the pelican
his beak holds more than his belly can
he can stash enough in that beak
to eat for a week.
i'll be damned if I know how the hell he can.
Court Sullivan: this is the point in the night when you know for a FACT degraaf has passed the 10-beer mark: irish limericks
Julian Asange: Does anyone have any condoms? No? Okay, not a big deal I guess.
Court Sullivan: Julian Asange, folks! He'll be here all weekend! …Cash only, no Mastercard, VISA, or Bank of America accepted.
Court Sullivan: i'll tell you what's in style: tom brady cologne. it's #1, 5, and 9 on my christmas list. it helps you make passes at women with accuracy and confidence.
Nick Gaudio: court, will your epitaph be a pun? "Court Adjourned" or something like that?
Nathan DeGraaf: here lies court: let god be his judge: In court. get it?