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Little did you know, every decision you make is hotly debated by almost every member of your corporate body. Penis, you're on speakerphone.
Lean a little bit closer, see, roses really smell like poo-poo-poo. The only bouquet you want her smelling all night is from the wine and liqueur.
Can't get a date? Here are four guaranteed-to-work dating tips for all you nerds out there, including the 3 C's and confidence visualization!
The university may never know your official choice, but your liver sure will. Remember, double majoring in liquor and beer is ill preparation.
Only a lucky few of us are able to quell the panic, fear and frustration of farting in favor of clinching, leaning and playing off the flatulent with skill.
Research into the secret lives of great writers uncovers a shared interest in delicious pastries. But a muffin isn't the same by any writer's name.
There once was a time when no matter where you decided to purchase your fast food laxatives for lunch, it was 99 cents. Not anymore.
Hogging is not only a historically recognized mating technique, but a time-honored college tradition. So, how drunk were you?
Seems like 'ol Doc in the Box knows about as much as Elvis when it comes to prescribing the right pills. Whole lotta shakin' goin' on indeed.
Online stalking will only get you so far. Planning a real life date complete with 1993 GM Safari van? Now we're talking irresistible.
Attention America: Our laziness has come to a head, and it's time we start using our feet for more than standing around. Now walk it out.
When backpacking across campus in search of sex, drugs and booze gets old, head overseas where you can buy more potent versions of all three.