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<p>So, it was late last night, and I had a paper that I didn't want to write and a midterm for which I didn't want to study. Naturally, I was IMing a friend and browsing YouTube when I was suddenly struck by the memories of some of the things that I fear most in life.
Yeah, I'm talking to you. You tool. You coward. You whelp. You - a guy in college - are going out with a high school chick. What. The. Fuck.
A long time ago, God realized he could put stuff on Earth. So he decided that the dinosaurs would have to worship him. How? By hatching his dinosaur son.
No man loves an idea better than laying back, stretching out, and relaxing the shit out of himself. And who better to teach you than a manly man's man?
<p>I want to meet the asshole who decided that an ill-fitting polo with pleated khaki pants would somehow be the outfit most conducive to a productive workplace. Then I want to give him a swift kick in the balls.</p>
Five simple ways to pick up a college chick, including the 'wounded puppy' and 'shove and help' techniques. Not to be attempted halfway.
Have you noticed how 'normal' people’s eyewear is reaching almost novelty store proportions? Unfortunately, celebs are still driving us to ridiculous trends.
I believe it was the winter of 1984; my father and I were out having dinner to celebrate my birthday. Unfortunately, he insisted on having steak at the restaurant.
For at least 5 minutes, my brain had been engaged in internal discourse with my bladder on the appropriate location to take a leak while dancing in the club. This would not be the first challenge of the night.
If you love people watching, mocking, and racial profiling: attend a college graduation. You’ll get a day full of laughs and, more importantly, a lifetime of punchlines.
An unedited article submission tackling another illegal profession: robbery. Don't read too closely, for you'll likely need a lot more instruction before making this a career.
With all this bra-swinging girl power we've got going on, why does it seem nearly impossible to walk onto a car lot without some slimy salesman trying to sell you purely on cushy seats and shiny colors? Here's how to buy a car, ladies.