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With your know-how of American tax code, you end up saving the Joneses seventeen dollars and a mandatory Dane Cook concert. If only that was reward enough.
I have designed the following six guidelines in order to assist nice guys in their quest for happiness and love. It's simple: first let your heart die, then play the game.
Don't get me wrong, I love this city, passionately, whole-heartedly, and sometimes toxically. But there are some things I'll never understand about New York.
Come 2015's release of Episode VII, will Star Wars reign triumphant again, or will the franchise descend further into the swamp of midichlorians and ugly, ugly child actors?
All I wanted to do was to use the bathroom and get back on the road, but a lovely woman working the breakfast station approached me and said, "Come grab a bite."
Talking about football on television gets Chris Berman so steamy under the collar that it makes you wonder just what he was up to during the commercial break.
The REAL robots are super-sleek job-killing bastards, designed by humans to slowly wage a war of attrition on the working class until nothing is left but hyper-rich human robot owners.
I cannot sum up Game of Thrones as anything other than, "A bunch of people, mostly assholes, who just stand around talking to each other while wearing fur."
There's a lot of cool new stuff in the world, but it still feels like the same place. And that's mainly because it's still populated with the same jackasses and idiots.
Things to look forward to after you stop drinking: eating crazy meals without vomiting, filming neighborhood pornography, and immunity to previously insulting comments.
I don't know how you met your significant other, or how you could just munch on Sarah Lee cookies all day, but if you found this link, your ex is telling you it's over.
If you do anything out of the norm in 2013, please make sure that you get into a close-quartered sword ?ght at high elevation in a hot air balloon.