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For a while, there were no consequences for my coffee addiction. I started doing amazing in school, my parents remained in the dark, and I earned a full scholarship.
What I realized about my self-imposed inability to write is that of all the reasons why I am unable to write can be blamed on my excellent procrastination skills.
The tree was right there the whole time, but it had never before occurred to me that this tree's purpose was to be climbed. And who wants to disappoint a tree?
Sorted and separated from those of color, I can now see the first washing machine lying in wait. I watch as my non-white comrades are tossed into the behemoth.
Anna-Shaleen relations rapidly deteriorated during our first lunch shift. I realized I'd officially gotten on her bad side when the question of gun control was raised.
Friends, no one gets up in the morning on planet Earth searching for Cloud 2. We're all trying to get to Cloud 9. And there's no easy way to get there.
As I look back on freshman year, I can't help but marvel. Here's some knowledge and advice for all you high schoolers getting ready for your first step into adulthood.
Ah, August. The breezes blowing, children playing, freedom from overbearing parents, and the lovely task of commencing awkward roommate conversations.
Drinking is not going to solve your problems. It will only make you feel better about yourself, lessen your frustration, and reduce your anxiety about employers. Hmm...
My boyfriend Otis is basically the perfect boyfriend. Except he refuses to participate in any form of social media, or any type of kissing.
Douchebagism is a cancer that has metastasized throughout the social fabric, infecting the masses with narcissism, and we must seek to classify and destroy it.
It's been another year living with severe arachnophobia. After an in-class incident with a spider, I realized that they are now personally fucking with my education.