Humor writing published daily. Featured: Best of Year | Editors’ Picks | People’s Favorites | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories
Somebody will watch in confusion as a frustrated Jim Carrey thrusts his torso to explain where the parking garage’s car elevator will go.
Good manners are expected at all times. That means always saying “please,” “thank you,” and “our mother made a terrible mistake not baptizing us.”
Our Economy Basic passengers are seated in a section of the plane teeming with luxury-hungry wolves, starving for cherished Basic ticket-holders.
We are ashamed to be counted among a population that would laud a man for performing a piledriver on a disabled person. Please step down, Mr. Mayor.
Apparently, my haters think I’m ‘off the hook’ but in a bad way, something I didn’t even know was possible.
Now I know smart car person phrases like, “you can tell the water pump is going out when you press the radio button and water squirts out.”
The "Gold-Gilt Family Plan," for multiple members of the same family that are involved in the same case.
The jar banged off the window and now burning, fancy French grease is everywhere! Thank you Vicky! Thank you so much for closing all the windows!
VeganBeauty1998 Nation, never stop smiling, even when your mind twists your need for intimacy into reveries about lodging yourself into Jeff's ear.
Are you better than the media? Assess these 21 phrases and find out whether you can distinguish bomber talk from 1960's R&B songs by The Shirelles.
#15: A renewable source of shitty Target sweaters through the year 3035. #18: Stopper for a Jiffy Lube grease pit.
20 registers, all manned by 20 identical managers. They turn all at once and, eyes glowing yellow, sing “Derrick’s not here! Derrick’s not here!”