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I wasn’t ever good enough to win a high score, but I found my satisfaction in changing these poor kids’ passwords so they could never log in and play.
Phone Addiction: In the pocket where ye usually keep your phone, keep instead a hairy, spindle-shanked, venomous spider. Incur bites until cured.
Stand there waiting, hoping, an impossible, misplaced hope, that the moderators will not think to call on him.
I empathetically understand why you think your house burned down, but technically it was destroyed and not “burned down.” This difference does matter.
I order Café Olés now in neighboring towns (to get away from all the darn-doodlin’ neighbors clouding my rediscovered creative energy!)
Mabel has seen it all. She started in shapes, but quickly moved onto colors before being promoted to Creative Director within a year.
Someone wearing acid wash jeans or an acid wash denim mini skirt and a Tufts sweatshirt --- 20 points, Those Reeboks with the Velcro --- 25 points
We weren’t even at the Genius Bar, and he mispronounced my common name, saying it over and over again, unaware that this meant I was being summoned.
After extensive testing of my symptoms by repeated Googling for “huge lumps neck cancer dying,” I’ve been self-diagnosed with a very rare tumor.
Knowing that I did my part to separate a four-year-old from his mother with no plan or intent to reunite them, I can nod off shortly after vomiting.
Who could possibly resist the siren song of a factory-farmed chicken breast wedged between two nondescript slices of bread? Plus a pickle?!
"Aja": Such an underrated Steely Dan album. “Deacon Blues” and “Peg” as back-to-back tracks? Come on.