Humor writing published daily. Featured: Best of Year | Editors’ Picks | People’s Favorites | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories
Practice acceptance. Instead of trying to avoid having an anvil dropped on your head, make peace with the inevitability of it happening.
What's so bad about herd life? We share the same habits (grass), passions (grass), and politics (reduce your carbon pawprint...and grass).
Exposed to even one feral child, as many as 22 relatively domesticated children will revert to a state of nature by mid-morning recess.
The horse is grocery shopping. Is the horse supposed to pull the grocery cart? No. The horse has to push the grocery cart just like everybody else.
The college group chat will be remembered for its many colorful names, conferred by different members of the chat across its 11 years of existence.
I plan to hit the ground running, and then run some more, and then more, then hit a wall, and then puke on your open laptop.
I’m here to tell you that you’re totally right about today not being the right day for a run. You really don’t want any part of this, man.
The One Attached to a Wire, Flying Over the Intersection: She’s in mid-air without a care in the world. She’s your manic pixie dream light.
“I can’t accept this, it’s obviously been used.” “Well yes, but only in January, February, and the first week of March. But then ppffhtt,” I spit.
We’re RACING to clarify: We do NOT only sell white-wall tires. Complementary road-side assistance does NOT include a “cruise to da make-out spot.”
Living the past 16 years as the solitary Snapple left in the "Friends" fridge, I cherish what I have, even if it’s only the royalties from reruns.
Protests are okay but I can't go to the Olive Garden because I use the breadsticks for things that are "objectionable" and "extremely upsetting?"