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I blinked in the winter sun and spotted the raised flag that bore the crest of Quality Time. Under the flag huddled members of my new life.
It is not my fault that your son got a splinter from the demolished wood pieces that I judiciously donated to your lawn.
The possibilities are endless due to your contribution. You could be used to study telepathy, astral projecting, homeopathy, ESP, and many more.
Deep, deep down, I do miss cleaning the bathroom after my son eats Chipotle’s Super Burrito with extra queso.
Practice acceptance. Instead of trying to avoid having an anvil dropped on your head, make peace with the inevitability of it happening.
What's so bad about herd life? We share the same habits (grass), passions (grass), and politics (reduce your carbon pawprint...and grass).
Exposed to even one feral child, as many as 22 relatively domesticated children will revert to a state of nature by mid-morning recess.
The horse is grocery shopping. Is the horse supposed to pull the grocery cart? No. The horse has to push the grocery cart just like everybody else.
The college group chat will be remembered for its many colorful names, conferred by different members of the chat across its 11 years of existence.
I plan to hit the ground running, and then run some more, and then more, then hit a wall, and then puke on your open laptop.
I’m here to tell you that you’re totally right about today not being the right day for a run. You really don’t want any part of this, man.
The One Attached to a Wire, Flying Over the Intersection: She’s in mid-air without a care in the world. She’s your manic pixie dream light.