Oh yeah, I beat off during Jon and Kate Plus 8. Who hasn't?! I searched the channels while the videos downloaded, and stopped on TLC when I saw the show. My girlfriend watches it, so no homo.

You bet your ass I whipped my dick out while the show played. I slowly rolled my pants down while Colin said something cute about his glasses, and I popped my boner out while they all ate breakfast. Don't worry, Maddy was on the screen when I started "Head Nurses 12", so it was kind of like a threesome.

Jon and Kate and their 8 kids
Just you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, and my penis. One big happy trail.

It's not like I was whacking it to the show. I played porn on the computer with the TV in the background. What do you think I am, some sort of pedophile? The kids are three years old! Nurse Deepthroat, however, is 19 years old, and unless she sucks this man's dick he might die.

Oh yeah, I whispered tritely to myself, I'll show you Jon & Kate plus eight. Haha, get it? Like my dick! And things really heated up when Alexis changed her outfit. Once she slipped out of her uncomfortable night gown it got a little exotic. No one can ride a pink bicycle with training wheels like she can. Except Maddy, I suppose, but that's because she's older and more experienced.

You're damn right I could hear the soft laughter of Aaden in the background. I didn't even bother to turn the volume down. In fact, I found his giggle comforting. His innocence seemed to foil the sinning of my violent masturbation.

Hell yeah I shot glances at the screen while waxing it! Move over Olsen Twins, there's a new Full House. It was the hottest orgy I've ever been a part of.

You bet your sweet ass I blew my load while Leah's face was on the screen. I looked up at her and smiled back. Her twinkling eyes only added to the ecstasy of ejaculation, like a majestic money shot.

Luckily, I finished just before the commercial break. It was a new personal best. It must have been because of the added raunchiness of eight children. After all, they don't call them sextuplets for nothing.

I think I'm going to do this every night. There's a new season coming out in May, so I should probably buy more Vaseline. Plus, now that I'm 18 I can buy the full season DVDs.

Oh wait. What's this? 18 Kids And Counting? Wow, that's sexy. A dozen and a half children whose names all start with the letter J?! Kinky!