Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Forty-eight-year-old high school senior Ferris “The Rock” Bueller has 24 hours to save the city of Chicago from imminent destruction but there's just one problem: an overly persistent and nosy Principal, who also happens to be the very terrorist trying to wreak havoc, is chasing Ferris. Ferris and Principal Rooney engage in a back and forth battle where Ferris destroys 99% of Chicago's skyline. Ultimately, Ferris catches Principal Rooney and before throwing him off a building yells, “Life moves pretty fast, but you’re about to move a lot faster.”

Little Women

Jo “The Pebble” March, wants to be a writer but there's one problem, he can't read. Jo enlists the help of a tutor but just as things are looking up, a vicious virus breaks out and infects his beloved sister Beth. Jo spends the next 24 hours blowing up libraries and schools to find the madman who released the virus, giving his sister the antidote before she explodes, and learning how to read and write.

Titanic

Jack “The Boulder” Dawson must save hundreds of passengers on the Titanic from Cal Hockley who has steered the boat in the path of a destructive iceberg monster. Jack ultimately sacrifices himself by picking up the 53,000-ton ship and throwing it safely back to land like a football. Jack is last seen placing villain Cal Hockley on a small sliver of iceberg while screaming, “never let go, motherfucker.”

Silence of the Lambs

Clarence “The Stone” Starling, is the most jacked student in the history of the FBI training academy, and has just been assigned to interview serial killer Hannibal Lecter. When Clarence realizes that the two will have to work together to find a deadly terrorist, Clarence breaks Lecter out of prison and carries him out on his shoulder, all while fighting twenty armed prison guards. The men engage in a shootout, helicopter chase, and occasional friendly banter about eating people during their journey. At the end, Clarence rips the terrorist apart with his bare hands but refuses to let Lecter have a bite because it would be “unjust.” The men go their separate ways but not before Clarence gives Lecter a stern warning when he says, “Don't let me catch you slipping, brother.”

Forrest Gump

Forrest “The Crystal” Gump reminisces about his life and adventures in Samoa to a stranger on a park bench including, his time as a professional wrestler, his presidential run in the United States, and how he saved California from a deadly earthquake by literally pulling broken pieces of earth's mass back together. At the end of the movie, Forrest realizes that the stranger is actually a terrorist and kills him after saying, “Life is like a box of chocolate, a box filled with a whole lot of whoop-ass.”

The Wizard of Oz

Theodore “The Gravel” Gale is mysteriously transported to another realm after he fails to stop a giant tornado from destroying Kansas. Now he must join forces with a robot, gigantic lion, and a muscular scarecrow to take down an evil witch who holds the key to his return. The gang embarks on a wild car chase down the yellow brick road, destroying everything in their path, including the road itself. When they finally reach the evil witch, Theodore screams “We’re not in Kansas anymore, bitch” and kills her with a rocket launcher.

Home Alone

Kevin “Bedrock” McCallister is forced to stay alone in his mansion on Christmas after his 90-year-old parents accidentally leave him behind. Kevin’s fun and freedom are cut short when he realizes that robbers are going to break into his home. Kevin works tirelessly to destroy the men and their dignities. For two hours, he tortures each robber with guns, a military flail, and knives. At the end, the robbers beg for their life but Kevin cuts them off and before launching them out of a window says, “This is my house, motherfucker, and I have to defend it.”


Follow PIC on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, or good ol' fashioned email.
Get coaching or feedback on your comedy writing from our editors.