College Quotes
Henri: Does she go to school in Pomona?
Eric Does she suck a mule under Corona?
Henri: What?
Eric: What?
-Two deafs don't make a right
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Recent Comments
| Author | Comment | Article |
|---|---|---|
| Jason Lebowski | this made my day! | How to Make Your Pussy Taste and Smell Better |
| Anonymous | Comedy noir. I like it. | Apex Predator > Breakfast Bitch |
| Twinklebull | Miltown is in trouble if | How to Be a Drug Dealer |
| Twinklebull | "prescense"? Looks like a | How to Be a Drug Dealer |
| Fuck you (edited) | "Lady's man".... hah! | How to Make Your Pussy Taste and Smell Better |
Parodies of Common AIM Away Messages
Funny Away Messages >> Common Parodies
<<<< Click the notepad to use an away message
There are three things I hate in this world:1) Lame away messages.
2) People who can't count.
If you were my laundry, I probably wouldn't do you for a while, you filthy whore. If you were my class, I would be ignoring you like my girlfriend right now. If you were my homework, I'd be ignoring you right now and promising I'll be in the mood tomorrow. ABCDEFGHILMNOPQRSTUVWXYZIf you're wondering where the P is, you obviously didn't read hard enough, stupid. JK!
Don't you hate away messages that don't tell you where the person is? No? Me either. I mean, what's the point...they're called "away messages" for a reason. If I went outside to take out the trash they would be called "taking out the trash messages," BUT THEY'RE NOT. And so on until the sheer number of possible "_______ message" combinations would become ridiculously large.
There are three known types of orgasms:
1. The Religious Orgasm - OH GOD OH GOD!
2. The Affirmative Orgasm - OH YES OH YES!
3. The "We met online" Orgasm - OH %n OH %n!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some marijuana. Jack got high and dropped his fly and
said do you wanna? Jill said, "Come on Jack, enough with the rhymes, you know I'm waiting for marriage. And would you stop getting high all the time, you're killing this relationship."
24 hours in a day....24 beers in a case...coincidence? Yes. Now if there were 20 beers in a half-case and 20 hours on a Saturday night? No.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you will have lost some weight too...fatty.
Saving myself for marriage. Nevermind, I’m back.
This is not my away message. (I also think I’m extremely funny.)
I am lost. I have gone off to find myself. Should I return before I find me, please tell me to wait
until I get back. (Note to self: Print out Mapquest directions next time.)
How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I'll wait around for it.
You have just received the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, it is completely based on the honor system. Please delete all the files from your computer at this time. (Note: Please respect this honor system the same way you would the university honor code during an unsupervised midterm.)
A recent poll shows that most people have not been polled...until recently...when an even more recent poll was taken showing that all the people who previously thought that most people have not been polled changed their minds.
