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away message
There are three things I hate in this world:
1) Lame away messages.
2) People who can't count.
If you were my laundry, I probably wouldn't do you for a while, you filthy
whore.
If you were my class, I would be ignoring you like my girlfriend right
now.
If you were my homework, I'd be ignoring you right now and promising I'll
be in the mood tomorrow.
ABCDEFGHILMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
If you're wondering where the P is, you obviously didn't read hard enough,
stupid. JK!
Don't you hate away messages that don't
tell you where the person is? No? Me either. I mean, what's the
point...they're called "away messages" for a reason. If I went outside
to take out the trash they would be called "taking out the trash
messages," BUT THEY'RE NOT. And so on until the sheer number of possible
"_______ message" combinations would become ridiculously large.
There are three known types of orgasms:
1. The Religious Orgasm - OH GOD OH GOD!
2. The Affirmative Orgasm - OH YES OH YES!
3. The "We met online" Orgasm - OH %n OH %n!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some marijuana. Jack got high
and dropped his fly and said do you wanna? Jill said, "Come on Jack,
enough with the rhymes, you know I'm waiting for marriage. And would you
stop getting high all the time, you're killing this relationship."
24 hours in a day....24 beers
in a case...coincidence? Yes. Now if there were 20 beers in a half-case
and 20 hours on a Saturday night? No.
Before you criticize someone,
walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a
mile away and you will have lost some weight too...fatty.
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