Points in Case

The Fine Print of College Life | Writers

 
PIC Newsletter:

Search PIC:


Daily College Quotes
New on PIC               By RSS | Email
Recent Article Comments
View all...
Recent Blog Comments
View all...

Funny Away Messages >> Common Parodies

Submit  |  Bookmark main page 


<<<< Click the notepad to use an away message


There are three things I hate in this world:
1) Lame away messages.
2) People who can't count.


If you were my laundry, I probably wouldn't do you for a while, you filthy whore.

If you were my class, I would be ignoring you like my girlfriend right now.

If you were my homework, I'd be ignoring you right now and promising I'll be in the mood tomorrow.

ABCDEFGHILMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
If you're wondering where the P is, you obviously didn't read hard enough, stupid. JK!

Don't you hate away messages that don't tell you where the person is? No? Me either. I mean, what's the point...they're called "away messages" for a reason. If I went outside to take out the trash they would be called "taking out the trash messages," BUT THEY'RE NOT. And so on until the sheer number of possible "_______ message" combinations would become ridiculously large.

There are three known types of orgasms:
1. The Religious Orgasm - OH GOD OH GOD!
2. The Affirmative Orgasm - OH YES OH YES!
3. The "We met online" Orgasm - OH %n OH %n!

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some marijuana. Jack got high and dropped his fly and said do you wanna? Jill said, "Come on Jack, enough with the rhymes, you know I'm waiting for marriage. And would you stop getting high all the time, you're killing this relationship."

24 hours in a day....24 beers in a case...coincidence? Yes. Now if there were 20 beers in a half-case and 20 hours on a Saturday night? No.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you will have lost some weight too...fatty.

Saving myself for marriage. Nevermind, I’m back.

This is not my away message. (I also think I’m extremely funny.)

I am lost. I have gone off to find myself. Should I return before I find me, please tell me to wait until I get back. (Note to self: Print out Mapquest directions next time.)

How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I'll wait around for it.

You have just received the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, it is completely based on the honor system. Please delete all the files from your computer at this time. (Note: Please respect this honor system the same way you would the university honor code during an unsupervised midterm.)

A recent poll shows that most people have not been polled...until recently...when an even more recent poll was taken showing that all the people who previously thought that most people have not been polled changed their minds.
 

<< Back to Away Messages | Submit your best

Content Community PIC Sponsors  |  Add Link

Home
Quotes
Columns
Articles
Blogs
Convos
Submit

About PIC
Advertising
Contact Us
Facebook Page
Newsletter
RSS Feed
Writers

Mr. Chip's Tees
Funny T-Shirts
Offensive T-Shirts
Fake Certificate
JCPenney Coupons

Spring Break Packages
No Deposit Poker Bonus
Diploma Company
Videos to Mobile Phones

Copyright © 1999-2008 Hotiron Media.  All Rights Reserved.  Jobs | Terms | Privacy Policy

PIC Sponsors


Mr. Chip's Tees
Funny T-Shirts
Offensive T-Shirts
Spring Break 2009
No Deposit Poker Bonus
Videos to Mobile Phones
Fake Certificate
Diploma Company
JCPenney Coupons
Add your link...

PIC Favorites
The Golden Rules of IM
C-Dub: Cybersex Comedy
How to Argue with Females
Anti-Chuck Norris Facts
The Dicktionary / Chicktionary
Mind of Single Guy / Single Girl
The Walk of Shame
Why I Get Laid and You Don't
Greatest Sexual Theory Ever
Beginner's Guide to Jail
Your Organs Decide a Friday
What a Drink Says About You
Historical Cybersex
The Golden Rules of Manhood
You're Not an Internet Badass
Face to Facebook
Don't Be THAT Guy / THAT Girl
I Saw You Eye Fucking Me
Guide to Trendy IM Laughing
Proper Use of Ejaculatory Slang
Don't Get Pussy-Whipped
The Ping Pong Pile of Shit
Famous Writers Order a Muffin
Free Stuff
Free Smileys - Smiley Central
Free Cursors - Cursor Mania
Free Profile Editor - Webfetti
Free Ringtones - Phone MP3s
Free Zwinky Download
Free Kiwee Download
Free IMVU Download
Free Laptop Computer
More free stuff...